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RED FLAGS AND WHY WE OFTIMES DON’T
SEE THEM
OR
WISDOM AND TRUE SIGHT
© C.S. Roberts 2025
A few weeks ago,
I was on an online radio show where we were discussing the programming in which
we, as children (specifically female children) were raised. It seems, sadly,
that this particular form of manipulating, brainwashing programing is still
alive and well. Something that one of us said (I don’t remember who or exactly
what was said) lived in my head as an echo for several hours.
I finally gave
in and went into a meditation to find
out what was nagging me to look at it deeper. It came to me like a dash of cold
water “With wisdom comes true sight” I was thrilled and all goose-bumpy for a
few minutes. I reveled in my new knowledge until it dawned on me to wonder what
THAT meant and where it would lead?
What came to
me is the undeniable fact that we all are programed from birth. Now, don’t get
upset here, I’m not pointing fingers or blaming anyone for anything, I am
attempting to explain so stay with me.
When we come
into this incarnation, we immediately become the concentrated concern of
everyone around us. They want us to both understand this new thing called life
and our place in it. We need to know how to become self-sufficient with all
that entails, how to become good decent people as befits the mores and standards of the
family, the community, the village, town, or city in which we reside. This teaching
also comes from the traditions of our culture, faith and, quite frankly, the county,
state and country where we are raised. We are a very manipulated and shaped animal,
we humans. No wonder most of our growing up is so confusing BUT, that’s not all
of it.
On top of
all those other things we have advertising, input from friends and extended family.
If that isn’t enough, we now have social media that is anything but social as
well as the types of music and television you plug into. All of this leads us
to having to figure out how to use our own thought process, discernment and intelligence
to begin to think for ourselves and to overcome our deep-seated programing.
I have told
you the above to take you to my next point. As we are raised, so we grow, think,
understand and feel about issues that crop up in our everyday lives. If we are
raised in an environment of abuse, that is our idea of what normal looks and
feels like. Conversely, if we’re raised in a loving and nurturing environment,
that is how we see and feel the ‘normal’ in life. Now, here’s the kicker, the
two ‘normals’ I have just described are on a very slippery sliding scale. When
we feel comfortable in a situation, we stay there even if the conditions aren’t
to our best interest. We will stubbornly hang on until we realize letting go
and leaving would serve us better. Even then, our reactions to this unsettling
situation are determined by our programing until such a time that we learn
better coping mechanisms. This step takes a lot of inner work which some do and
some don’t.
In the case
of those who don’t learn new, better ways to cope, they stay in the same
patterns that keep them in the loop of being manipulated. The difference here
is that they are now doing it to themselves based on old, learned behavers. They
cling to the demons they know, the ones that feel and look ‘normal’.
Those of us
who do the deep inner work learn better so old patterns are broken. Old habits
are changed to better ones. Red flags are identified and avoided. Life is
better all the way around. How do we get caught up in these things in the first
place you ask?
We, as
humans, have a tendency to make the decision that we think we ‘know’ about something,
whether we really understand it or not. We decide it’s the way it’s supposed to
be and, more often than not, that’s the end of it. The truth is that, when we
firmly decide and are convinced that we
know anything, we shut down and stop looking for anything more to learn about
it. (The Dunning-Kruger effect is one example of this, there are others.)
Why is this
important? It’s important because those audio files running in your mind, as
well as the things you have observed and have reinforced by your actions and
what you tell yourself, continue to enforce your programmed ideas, actions and
reactions in relationship to yourself and others. Let that sink in for a
minute.
Here’s an
example of what I’m referring to. In The Blakemore and Cooper1) experiment they took two litters of kittens that were kept
in the dark for several weeks and were then exposed to environments with either
vertical or horizontal planes for a specified amount of time. These lines,
either vertical or horizontal, were projected into the space so that they were
the only things the kittens could see, therefore they became familiar with
their assigned lines. When the kittens were placed in the opposing areas with
things they had never seen before, they weren’t readily able to recognize what
was new to them. The ones from the vertical room could not recognize horizontal
lines and the kittens raised in the horizontal space were unable to see the vertical
planes. The result was that visual (and for this article behavioral) perception
is not purely innate but heavily shaped by our environmental input as well.
And here we
are back at the original question. Why do most of us have difficulty recognizing
the red flags in our lives until they hit us in the face and/or stab us in the
back?
The simple
answer is they are what we see and believe is normal (whatever that means to
those involved in any given situation.) A lot of us have not seen them for what
they are because they look, feel and sound like what we’re used to. Until we
don’t. Here’s the good news, “Once we become aware, we cannot become unaware.” ( Evolution of Self Program, C. S.
Roberts)
The insidious
establishment of this process takes years, however, as you wake up to it and
learn how to rewrite your own, personal programming, it becomes easier. As we
raise ourselves out of the miasma of our old programing and begin to see things
from a higher perspective, we start to see the holes, the red flags and the
traps from a clearer vantage point. From our new, aware, elevated frame of reference, we get better at avoiding
those things. It’s the hole in the sidewalk example. Until you start looking
ahead, remembering your past mistakes and learning from them, you will continue
to fall into the hole.
We, as
people do, stubbornly continue to stick to what we think we know whether it
gets us the desired effect or not. Until we learn better, know better and do
better, we will keep making the same mistakes and wondering why. So, look up,
look ahead and see those flags! Learn from them, avoid them, change your mind
set about them and stand in your own power because with wisdom comes true
sight.
C. S.
Roberts
1(Blakemore
and Cooper (1970) | Reference Library | Psychology | tutor2u)
