HATE AND FIRE
ARE BOTH
FOUR LETTER WORDS
C. S. Roberts, 2026
all rights reserved
Like arson hate
begins as a targeted thing. But, like a
wildfire, hate will spread until it consumes the innocent. Like fire, hate often
overtakes unintentional targets. Let’s talk about that.
Hate usually
chooses a target while natural Fire does not choose.
Hate grows
and spreads, so does Fire.
Hate causes
flashovers that consume all it can devour as does Fire.
Hate will
suck all the oxygen in the area so that bad decisions are made, Fire does that
too.
Hate will smolder
as does Fire, making both easy to restart. Once hate becomes its own, living
thing, it too no longer chooses.
Hate’s
intense, deep-seated biases and prejudices are the feelings that fuel the fires
of this too often unrestrained emotion. It is driven by anger, contempt and
disgust for anything or anyone that is perceived as different. These things can
be a lifestyle, a belief, an action (usually misunderstood, misinterpreted or an
unfounded assumption.) All of this is usually drawn from someone’s past. Whether
born of abuse, manipulation, a toxic environment or devaluation, the stage is
set for those persons to attack from their damaged past. Some folks realize
this and strive to become better people but, more and more often, they do not.
To try to make
themselves feel better they strike out in much the same way they were hurt in
the first place, quite frequently not even realizing exactly what they are
doing or why they are doing it. Soon, they meet others of like mind and heart,
thus the smoldering embers of resentment burst into a conflagration of ugliness
that will soon burst into the flames of unbridled hatred. As their coalition
grows, the flames (of hatred) get hotter and less controlled. This is as large a problem as a raging
wildfire bent on consuming as much acreage as possible. It doesn’t choose what
or where it burns, it just consumes. Hatred does the exact same thing. It is a
conflagration of the mind, of the heart and, here’s the clencher, it also destroys
the vessel in which it is housed. That vessel being you, the person holding all
that hate.
This brings
us to the question of how to stem the rampant spread of the stuff. With fire it
is a relatively easy thing to remove one or more of the things that keep it
going, fuel, oxygen and/or heat. With hate it becomes a very personal battle.
The dissolving
of this oh so toxic emotion starts from within, down deep where it first began.
Hate is not an emotion that is born with us, it is taught. This damaging lesson
is brought about by many different things such as how we are treated as well as
what we hear and see as children. The treatment we endure as we become thinking
people. What we see as love. If we grow up in a hurtful, malignant unhealthy
environment we can be deeply damaged.
The initial
damage is not truly on us, however, to grow and learn enough to realize that it
was such is, most definitely ours to recognize and do something about. From our
deepest heart and mind most of us feel that something is not right, something
is off and needs looking into. This is where healing starts because once you
become consciously aware of these things, you CANNOT become unaware of them.
Your job then is to figure out what is going on. Aks yourself where it came
from and why do you think you hold on to it. Does it make you feel better to
hurt others? Does it give you a sense of control? A sense of power over someone
you see as less than? If so, I strongly suggest you find a therapist to help you
see how to heal those feelings. Why? Because they breed hatred.
Here are
some guidelines to give you some ideas of how to help yourself and turn the
broken parts into healthy, helpful thoughts and actions. WARNING; DON’T TRY ALL
OF THESE AT ONCE. You will overwhelm yourself and fail. Take what time you need.
You didn’t get in this situation overnight, you can’t solve it quickly.
As I said in
the paragraph before this one, Educate yourself about you. Go ahead and ask
yourself the hard questions. Pull your demons (kicking and screaming) into the
light, that’s where they dissolve. Is it painful? Yes, AND it is healing
because once you realize you aren’t alone in what feels like a hole you can’t get
out of, you start to see light where you thought there wasn’t any.
Learn compassion
and true caring for yourself as the miracle of life that you are. Most of us
(especially women) were taught self- deprecation and to always put ourselves last in all things. How
familiar is this, “Take care of your family first and then, if you have
anything left, take care of you.” I tell you here that you can’t serve from an
empty vessel. You MUST fill yourself so that you have strength and stamina for
others. If you feel good about you, then this feeling shines out to others. Learn
gratitude and appreciation for all that you have and all that you are. This
lifts your spirits and the spirits of everyone around you. This positivity and
gratitude crowd out feelings of resentment, jealousy and envy which are the
building block of hate. Practice mindfulness about everything you do. Being
mindful focused on good things rather than things that make you feel anxious.
Own your
mistakes and learn from them. That is how we, as thinking people grow, learn
better and do better. Without mistakes we would never know what went wrong in
any given scenario. Own what is yours and don’t try to blame others. Blaming
others is a sure way not to learn anything.
STOP DOOM
SCROLLONG
Next, look
long and hard at your personal biases and prejudices. Understand that these are
learned behaviors. Anything learned can be unlearned, redirected and retrained,
therefore, retrain yourself. This works because, if you understand others and
why they are different, they aren’t seen as an obstacle to your safety and
happiness. Learn about other cultures and their traditional behaviors as well
as their learned ones. Just because we are different colors, have different
religions, different celebrations, ways of dressing and different outlooks do
NOT make us enemies. Consider this, we celebrate divergence and differences in
other species, why not our own. Without them we would be extremely boring.
Teach kindness
and discuss the rightness of allowing others to be themselves. It isn’t your
job to control the world. All you have to control is you.
As you
accomplish these steps you will be another mechanism in the ongoing effort to
cool hatred, calm fear and restore peace and sanity to a very troubled species,
the human race.
Do Peace, Be
Love.