THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING ALIVE THAT LITTLE SPARK OF BOZO

“Laugh when you can, it’s a cheap medicine.”{Anon}

I facilitate a Law of Attraction meeting twice a month and it is one of the most enjoyable things that I do. Our group is close knit with room for newcomers, ideas, experiences and we seem to laugh a lot. So much so that one of the members of the group calls us her laughing group. I got to wondering just what happens when we laugh? And why is it so good for us? And as is my nature I went searching out the physical side of it to go along with the mental and spiritual side of things. Here is what I found out.

In laughing long and well, we breathe deeply. When we breathe deeply, we expand the cells of our lungs which prevents them from sticking together.(I was completely unaware that this could occur.) Because of this expansion, a predisposition to fight infection is created. We know that oxygenation of the blood is a good thing and the other side of that is riding our bodies of carbon dioxide which is great for our overall health, laughing does all of this for us. Researchers have found that laughing long, hard and often releases endorphins. These hormones being released in our brains does amazing things; they make us feel happy with a sense of overall well being, they also help lower pain levels.

This information was the brain child of a man named Norman Cousins. Mr Cousins was the editor of The Saturday Review and one day he found out that he had a life threatening illness. He was not ready to give the illness an upper hand so he chose to be proactive. During his research he read a theory that said having lower vibrational feelings ( such as worry, fear, anticipation of the worst case scenario) about ones life and situations may have detrimental effects on ones biology; so,conversely, higher vibrational feelings must make one feel better and be healthier. (such as feeling happy, anticipation of the best outcome, joy) He decided that the easiest way to accomplish this goal of better health was to laugh. He decided to watch movies of the “Three Stooges” for eight hours a day for many weeks and he read a lot of funny books. By listening to his body, he just knew that this was what he needed to create wellness within himself.

OK so how did this work? Those endorphins come into play again, they are aided by dopamine and oxytocin. All of these natural hormonal chemicals work together to keep you up, happy and functioning at your best. Mr cousins found that he was incapable of feeling depressed because it is a physical impossibility to be both depressed and laugh at the same time. He also found that the laughing helped him sleep better. He lengthened his life span by fifteen years. He also wrote a book about his experience. (“The Anatomy of An Illness”) Now the wonderful thing here is that the AMA paid attention and published an article about laughter and it's healing properties in the 1989 Journal of the American Medical Association that stated that “laughter would relieve symptoms and improve patients overall quality of life.”

Laughter does several other things that are beneficial to our biology;

It helps flush out many of the toxins that are released when your heart and lungs begin moving your highly oxygenated blood pumping throughout your body. You could see it as; laughter+a higher energy vibration= movement and change.

Laughter renews hope;
It can ease all types of pain from arthritis to that of a heart break, it relieves tension (it is why we sometimes laugh in what we feel is an inappropriate situation) Laughter causes us to change the way we are looking at a situation.

As you laugh and relax;

You begin to feel good all over, it raises your mood, gives you an adrenalin rush which invigorates both your mind and body.

Laughter spreads through a group;

Have you ever experienced this? A group of friends is laughing and you get caught up in it without any idea what is so funny? Try watching a baby laughing and not laugh yourself...it is almost impossible! (LOL, just writing about it made me laugh)

Being in a state of good humor, amusement and joy will help you feel where you are stuck and allow you to move the blockage. When you are in joy you are lighter; vibrating higher and this will overflow onto those around you because you are uplifting and positive. You are more at peace and this will radiate from you.

If you should find yourself in a circumstance that makes it difficult to find the lighter side, try taking a break to watch a funny movie (one that is funny to YOU, not everyone is amused by the same things) read a humorous book, watch funny videos or some standup. Just like you would look for gratitude in any situation, look for humor within this situation.

We were born to laugh, it is part of us as natural as breathing or crying, it is an innate gift of humanity. If you smile, no matter how you think you feel, soon you will feel true bliss and joy. It is OK to feel good, no matter how those around you feel, it is OK to smile no matter whether others are smiling or not. It is OK to be happy, to laugh to be in a joyful state. The longer you live in happiness, the more you will like it.

Speaking of liking something, the Law of Attraction tells us that like attracts like and you know this is true. If something or someone does not vibrate with you, you find somewhere else to be, right? If you are not vibrating at a high frequency, you attract lower frequency people and places to you. When you raise your frequency, so does your environment. You laugh, you smile, you are happy!

Laughter lifts us over high ridges and lights up dark valleys
in a way that makes life so much easier. It is a priceless gem,
a gift of release and healing direct from Heaven.{Alan Cohen}

Did you know that children laugh, up to 400 times a day? Adults laugh only about 17 times a day. That to me is a sad statistic. I know that since I have started laughing more often, my life is better on all levels. Being serious is now a sometimes thing for me and I like that. Laughter can turn your perceptions and mind-stream around in an instant, it can change your view point, help you heal yourself and handle most anything when you are light-hearted.

“A day without laughter, is a day wasted”{Charlie Chaplin}

Here are some tips to help you get started;

A good exercise for your brain and your lungs is to laugh and smile, it is that oxygenation thing again. You will find that you think clearer and feel more energized.

The other brain benefit is that nerves within the brain are used that you don't usually use, this falls under the “use it or lose it” rule. Your facial muscles get a good work out too and that is good for keeping that young look. Research shows that by laughing for only five minutes is more beneficial than working out for five hours.

As you focus on laughing and smiling you will find that you will be joyous within your being; your heart chakra will take up the habit and soon you will begin radiating joy and love from deep within you. Truthfully it has always been there, you just need to remember it, find it and use it again.

Laughter is one of you most powerful tools that you have at your disposal to make improvements in your life. The Law of Laughter says if you laugh with all your heart, your health improves and your life changes. Laughter will bring you closer to your goal of wholeness and happiness.

I send you all Light, Love, Laughter and Bright Blessings, Chessie

© 2012 Chessie Roberts, All rights reserved

WHY WE SHOULDN'T TAKE THINGS SO PERSONALLY AND HOW TO STOP

WHY WE SHOULDN'T TAKE THINGS SO PERSONALLY AND HOW TO STOP

I don't know about you but sometimes, despite the determined effort on my part to be a detached adult, I fall victim to some offhand comment by someone who can not possibly know anything about me, that I take personally. I allow the remark to make me feel small and ineffectual because it blind-sides me on a deep personal level. This causes a knee-jerk reaction in me that I don't even realize is there until it happens....and “poof” I'm a child again. I know from conversations with clients, friends and family members that this happens to ALL of us at one time or another.

So the question arises; “Why does this happen?” “How do we stop it?” Part of the situation lies in our childhood (don't roll your eyes, it IS where it starts) During punishment, a lot of the time we are made to feel small, ineffectual, wrong and worthless. If we grow up with out an opportunity to turn that around (and sometimes, even if we were) a situation arises that throws us right back into the mind-set. I have battled this most of my adult life and still it gets past me so I thought I would share some of my strategies with you today.

 

As we learn to stay on an even keel here we find we can stay powerful without losing our center, we stay in control of our own person, we stay grounded because we know that we are in charge of us and this is a reward in and of itself. Once you allow yourself to experience this state of being and realize how good it feels, you will want to be in that mind-stream all the time.

Listen to what you say when you talk to yourself. Most of the scenarios are self righteous rants that have absolutely nothing to do with what really happened, they are about what you may wish had happened. You always play the role of the victim in your story and you always come out on top. As you investigate your tales of woe, you will see patterns in them that can lead you to what is going on in your head when these events occur. When you begin to see these patterns, you can then identify your “pay-off” and can begin to change your mental actions to create new, empowering thought processes.

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“Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about "me."{The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz}

“What others think about is none of your business.”{anon}

When we react “personally” we allow ourselves to be poisoned by a supposed thought process. The person who spoke was responding to their own feelings and more than likely had given no thought to you and your feelings at all. Most of the time an attack comes because of how they feel, not because of you. Allowing another person to pull your strings is to give away your power to them whether you know them or not.

OK so what do we do to stop it? I have some ways I use that might be helpful to you;

Don't jump to the conclusion that someone is trying to hurt you; If this is a habit of this behavior (and they all are habits) it is your habitual thought process to think that you are being attacked. Chances are that they are having a bad day, possibly they are thinking about something else and you just got in the way. Maybe they thought they were joking. Your first thought may be to react emotionally, but stop for a minute and remember that you are not the center of the universe and just maybe it's not about you at all. But imposing this short time out on yourself, you allow your emotions time to settle on the side of calm rather than to fly off the handle and be offended or hurt.

Change your perspective from “how you feel” to “What are they really saying”. If you stay in the “how I feel” mind-stream, you will stay focused on the unpleasant feelings that you are experiencing, and when you wallow in those feelings, they get worse. If you are taking into consideration where the other person is coming from you can see different options;

Ask yourself, “How does this person act toward others? Do they insult or tease everyone? Just certain people? Some people don't know any better or are on the offensive all of the time. This is NOT your fault nor your problem, don't own it.

Could the other person possibly feel threatened by you in some way? If you can see how they might, try to find a way to help them get over it, don't lower yourself to raise another.

Maybe the other person hasn't learned how to deal with others and situations in a mature way. You can be more patient with someone throwing a temper tantrum when you realize they are acting from a place of ignorance and immaturity than you can if you are coming from the same place.

Don't call your committee and rehash the incident. This is an immature form of wallowing that keeps you in a state of victim think. It prolongs the drama and reinforces the feelings and reaction that you say you are trying to out grow/let go of.

Realize that you are sensitive to what you think others are thinking Because of this you have strong reactions to body English, voice tone and inflection that signal you that you are in the wrong, whether you are or not. This is learned behavior and, if you work at it a bit you can unlearn it. You do not need the approval of others, you do not need to fix any thing or anyone (but yourself) Just because someone is displeased either with you or the situation it does not mean that you are at fault; however, if you ACT like you feel at fault, it will be assumed that you are.

“I am not sure you know how your words/actions make me feel.” Tell the offending person just how you feel. You can't assume they know if you don't tell them, they may just be venting and not have a clue how the fall-out is affecting those who are hearing it. Speak gently but with authority (whether you actually feel it or not) Use non confrontational words and be as pleasant as you can. This may open a dialog that can fix a lot of issues, be sure to use active listening.

Don't rely on praise to help you feel better; Complements are nice and have their place in life but don't allow them to be your bench mark for your self worth. When you do you are still allowing others to decide how YOU feel about yourself you are just taking your information from a different direction. When you receive a compliment take it as no more than that persons observational statement. It is just their opinion, not a reflection on you but a statement about what they liked.

Make your offering without shame or guilt; Some people will like what you offer and some will not and that is all right. You never know when your humble offering is just what some one needed to turn their life around or make it better. You don't even need to know who or when.

Time can be a cause of seeming indifference; Don't be offended because you don't get a response right away. You are not the other person's priority. They will get to you when they can. Depending upon your request you may want to contact them again in an appropriate amount of time.

Our society is so fast moving we often receive or send what feels like a snippy answer. When and if this happens don't react...take time to cool down and act (from your angry, hurt, or upset response) and then reread the e-mail/text with a cooler head. Don't put any emotion into it, just read it, then respond in a clam, loving and understanding way.

If you don't understand or feel you are misinterpreting a reaction, ask. One year I was given a beautiful leather jacket as a Christmas present by my son and his family. When I tried it on it didn't fit so I showed him it didn't fit while apologizing a blue streak for not fitting inside it, mu guilt fueled by the look of disappointment on his face. He said he was sorry too and walked out of the room. For many months I squirmed not knowing if I had hurt his feelings or what was going to happen, I was afraid to ask, for 3 months. One day I got up the nerve to ask my daughter-in-law if I had offended them by not just taking the jacket. She looked stunned and then laughed, “No, of course not, didn't he tell you what we are doing about it?” With that one question we opened communication and got it all straight. I will ask sooner next time. Know that it is OK to ask.

The other side of asking is listening; Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Don't be so busy thinking up your next statement that you miss what is being said, that is how miscommunication happens. As you listen you may realize that your first thought was way off the mark. One you learn to actively listen and do it all the time, you will lessen the times that you misunderstand or react emotionally.

It is alright to walk away; if you feel that you will lose your cool, walk away until you are under control and then, if it is really important to you, go back and with nonjudgmental language, discuss it with the other person. Don't assign blame or make excuses. You might say something like “I feel that I may have misunderstood what you were trying to tell me earlier, I am ready to try again if you are.”

As you grow through your life and learn to handle first one thing and then another, your ability to communicate without losing you own center or giving over your power to someone else will serve you well. You will be well on your way to your Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance! Bright Blessings, Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2012, all rights reserved

THE SPELLING CHAMPION

THE SPELLING CHAMPION

Story channeled by Chessie Roberts of Evolution of Self; Journey into Body,Mind, Spirit from Guidance

In a country far away there lived a young boy who could correctly spell any word he ever heard. His teachers were so impressed that they entered the boy in the countrywide spelling competition. He won easily and went on to win the next higher competition. The boy was so good at spelling that he soon was noted as the best speller in the world.

His country was very proud of the boy and used him in all sorts of ad campaigns so it wasn't long before everyone in the world knew who the boy was. In all of the notoriety it was soon made public that the boy was an orphan and the country that his birth parents were from decided that they should claim the boy as being their champion. The country in which the child had lived most of his life wanted to hold on to the prestige of claiming that the boy was “their champion”. The two countries decided to argue over the point. The boys foster parents were from still a third country and they felt that their homeland should lay claim to the boy so that country got in on the argument too.

The little boy was distressed because of all of the fighting and arguing so he talked to his friends about how silly the grownups were being. His friends agreed so the children went to the meeting house and asked the three countries if they would please listen to the children for a minute. The fighting grownups decided that mere children could not be useful in this situation and turned them away so the friends decided to make their own plans.

The children snuck the boy into hiding thinking that the countries would stop fighting over the boy and join forces to find him. The children thought that this way the grownups would see what they were doing and how ridiculous it was and stop fighting. To their dismay, the argument was so intense that the boys absence went completely unnoticed for many days.

Now children have good hearts and wonderful insights but are not always the best planners and their lack of planning left their friend alone in the woods without adequate food, shelter or clothing and the spelling champion took ill. When the children discovered their friends plight they took him straight way to hospital. Because the boy was so famous the hospital called the authorities to tell them what had happened and the argument came at once to the boys sick room where it continued.

The countries and the press had by this time involved the entire world in the silly mess and the arguing had escalated to near war, and all of the hatred and disagreement swirled above the boy as he lay in the bed not caring anymore what happened, he just wanted it all to stop. But on and on the ugliness went with no notice of the little boy as he, once again slipped quietly away.

That afternoon his friends came to see him and found their friends bed surrounded by arguing adults and flashing cameras. The children crawled and wiggled their way through the argument until they reached the bed of their friend where they found his body just as they had left it the day before but now it was uninhabited. The children raised such a waling that the grownups were forced to stop their argument to ask what was wrong with the children. One little girl who had been closest to the worlds spelling champion stepped forward and with great dignity told the assembled adults,”you were so busy arguing over who owned this little boy that you were not enjoying and celebrating what a wonderful gift he was to the world and because of that heaven took him back.” In the silence that descended, the children thought that the argument was finally over but now the world was angry about who was to blame for the boys death and would pay the hospital bill.

The children left the room, again without notice, and went to talk among themselves. Their decision was that the sad truth of it all was that the adults were just crazy because they could no longer see or feel what was truly important. The children also decided that they would make a conscious effort to never lose the ability to see, feel and love. Who are you not seeing in your life? Who is moving quietly through your life that you are letting slip away. What and who is really important to you? Are they worthy of your attention?

As the worlds energy shifts and changes we will have to shift and change along with it or perish. We must learn to work together for the common good rather than argue about the drama and nonsense that so many seem to feel is important. We must pay attention to the little things that are in reality quite large. May you embrace the little seemingly inconsequential things that, in actuality, heal and cause bonds of reconnection and grow love, Bright Blessings, Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2012 All Rights Reserved

THOUGHTS ON WHY WE CRY WHEN SOMEBODY DIES

THOUGHTS ON WHY WE CRY WHEN SOMEBODY DIES

My husband and I experienced the sudden loss of a wonderful friend yesterday. His death struck us both profoundly and deeply. We were both surprised because we weren't terribly close to the person. But we did both like him very much.

Because we both believe in reincarnation and understand that when someone dies it is their time to do so, no matter how old or young are; no matter how “good” or “bad” humanity perceives them to be, no matter any judgment placed on them to categorize them. We feel that when it is time to go, one goes. Yes, we mourn with the families, however, we rejoice with the one who has left us for that is a joyful thing for them no matter how it occurs, they have gone home.

We know and understand the seven stages of grief; First is shock and denial; The Second is pain and guilt; Third is anger and bargaining; Forth is depression, reflection and loneliness; Fifth is the upward turn; Sixth is reconstruction and working through it all; and Seventh is acceptance and hope. We have experienced all of them both together and separately but never before all at the same time.

Now this leads me to the thoughts about why we cry when some one passes out of our lives. As I understand our anatomy, we have three different kinds of tears and the ones we use at this time are the third kind; the ones we produce when our body reacts to something on an emotional level. Each type of tear contains different amounts of chemical proteins and hormones. Scientists have discovered that the emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone called prolactin. As we cry our body experiences a reduction of both of these. This reduction helps us to keep depression away. Many people have found that crying actually calms them after being upset, and this is in part due to the chemicals and hormones that are released in the tears. The emotions that create this feeling, this need are many and varied. They also occur in different intensity in different people.

Science aside, we cry because we FEEL like it. This particular passing hit us so hard (even if only for a few hours) that it made us question and examine our individual and collective response to it. What I have gathered from this experience is that perhaps humanity is connected on such deep levels that most, even the scientists are totally unaware of it. Most of the time, society doesn't react to the passing of someone that is not a close friend or relation unless it is on a huge national level, like when the towers were hit on 9-11 or a well publicized incident such as a child trapped in a well or hikers lost in the wilderness. I think most of us have experienced these. But to feel so deeply, so profoundly about a connection to a passing such as this, makes me think there may be more to our human connection than we have realized.

Was he a friend? Yes. Was he a dear person that we liked to interact with? Yes. Were we connected by the love of the same thing (music in this case)? Yes. Did he support us in our musical endeavors? Yes. Did we love him as a friend and colleague? Yes. BUT we weren't what you would call “close” but we were “connected” and I feel that connection may have been the reason we felt his loss so acutely. As I write this I keep getting a mental picture of grass. We see it as different blades but in truth most grasses are one large organism that is linked by its roots, underground where we don't see the connection. The other mental image I get is of bees. They communicate and are connected in ways we don't see. Come to think of it the entire animal kingdom is connected on subtle levels the we humans are only now just beginning to understand. So I am deeply contemplating our true connection and what it really means to the human animal. If we could/would become as aware of our earthly as well as our spiritual connection to each other, the animals, our planet and our Source, maybe...just maybe we would all be better off?

Bright Blessings and Awareness to you all, Chessie

© 2012, Chessie Roberts, all rights reserved