Sunday, February 5, 2012



My husband and I experienced the sudden loss of a wonderful friend yesterday. His death struck us both profoundly and deeply. We were both surprised because we weren't terribly close to the person. But we did both like him very much.

Because we both believe in reincarnation and understand that when someone dies it is their time to do so, no matter how old or young are; no matter how “good” or “bad” humanity perceives them to be, no matter any judgment placed on them to categorize them. We feel that when it is time to go, one goes. Yes, we mourn with the families, however, we rejoice with the one who has left us for that is a joyful thing for them no matter how it occurs, they have gone home.

We know and understand the seven stages of grief; First is shock and denial; The Second is pain and guilt; Third is anger and bargaining; Forth is depression, reflection and loneliness; Fifth is the upward turn; Sixth is reconstruction and working through it all; and Seventh is acceptance and hope. We have experienced all of them both together and separately but never before all at the same time.

Now this leads me to the thoughts about why we cry when some one passes out of our lives. As I understand our anatomy, we have three different kinds of tears and the ones we use at this time are the third kind; the ones we produce when our body reacts to something on an emotional level. Each type of tear contains different amounts of chemical proteins and hormones. Scientists have discovered that the emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone called prolactin. As we cry our body experiences a reduction of both of these. This reduction helps us to keep depression away. Many people have found that crying actually calms them after being upset, and this is in part due to the chemicals and hormones that are released in the tears. The emotions that create this feeling, this need are many and varied. They also occur in different intensity in different people.

Science aside, we cry because we FEEL like it. This particular passing hit us so hard (even if only for a few hours) that it made us question and examine our individual and collective response to it. What I have gathered from this experience is that perhaps humanity is connected on such deep levels that most, even the scientists are totally unaware of it. Most of the time, society doesn't react to the passing of someone that is not a close friend or relation unless it is on a huge national level, like when the towers were hit on 9-11 or a well publicized incident such as a child trapped in a well or hikers lost in the wilderness. I think most of us have experienced these. But to feel so deeply, so profoundly about a connection to a passing such as this, makes me think there may be more to our human connection than we have realized.

Was he a friend? Yes. Was he a dear person that we liked to interact with? Yes. Were we connected by the love of the same thing (music in this case)? Yes. Did he support us in our musical endeavors? Yes. Did we love him as a friend and colleague? Yes. BUT we weren't what you would call “close” but we were “connected” and I feel that connection may have been the reason we felt his loss so acutely. As I write this I keep getting a mental picture of grass. We see it as different blades but in truth most grasses are one large organism that is linked by its roots, underground where we don't see the connection. The other mental image I get is of bees. They communicate and are connected in ways we don't see. Come to think of it the entire animal kingdom is connected on subtle levels the we humans are only now just beginning to understand. So I am deeply contemplating our true connection and what it really means to the human animal. If we could/would become as aware of our earthly as well as our spiritual connection to each other, the animals, our planet and our Source, maybe...just maybe we would all be better off?

Bright Blessings and Awareness to you all, Chessie
© 2012, Chessie Roberts, all rights reserved

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