Saturday, June 6, 2009

Positive Balance

© Chessie Roberts 2009 all rights reserved. Used on by permission

Can a cat ever be a dog? No? We all know that is an impossibility yet we strive to do it to ourselves every day.
We mostly concentrate on the outside because society tells us what we should look like. We as women are always too something; fat, thin, short, tall, ‘insert failing here’. There are hoards of advertising messages to point these things out to us. “Is your hair straight? Then curl it with blabla! Too curly? Then straighten it with ‘name your product”! “Take this pill and look like ‘name the first movie/TV star that pops into your head”! “Are your body parts succumbing to gravity? Well Dr. Perky can lift your spirits”! No wonder we are feeling out of balance, according to all of that we will never be good enough for anything.
When does all of this start? At birth! The village raising you, though well meaning, parents; regular and grand, teachers friends and other family, all have their ideas about who you should be and what you should look like, bother what you think, if they let you think at all. Then there is the media who target us younger and younger (there are programs for infants out there now) All of this is busy forming our mental images of our selves and others. Most of the time it is done with a negative slant hidden in the seemingly ‘positive’ message. Just in case you are not aware of this, research shows that humans remember and take to heart the negative words, actions and inferences much more deeply than the positive ones. Positive input must constantly be reinforced. Is it any wonder that we try so diligently to correct what we think others think when they look at US? Actually the other person is more concerned about what THEY think you think when you look at them! How is that for irony? The double whammy here is that the way we react to someone or to ourselves teaches those who are watching us how to treat others and them selves. Case in point; I have a friend who was horribly over weight and she would expound to anyone in earshot how much she “hated skinny women because they were stuck up and looked sick.” Now that she has had gastric bypass surgery and wants her teen aged daughter to loose weight, guess what is going on in that house. The child who has this mental tape of her mothers’ words playing over and over in her head is having issues with loosing weight. These people are out of balance.
Here is the kicker ladies, if you think you look/feel bad, you do. But, if you think you look/feel good, you do. I think it was Henry Ford that said, “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right”. The trick is having a positive balance and standing in your own power. Balance is crucial to everything on the planet and that means us too.
When you change what you think about, what you think about changes. So, find your positive, your good qualities and embrace them, love them without shame. Go so far as to celebrate them; it is okay and desirable to do that. In time the negative fades into nothingness and what you truly are shines through. Bright Blessings, Chessie

“Never let the opinions of someone who cannot truly know you hurt you; stand in your own power.”
CSR, ‘Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance.’

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