Sunday, February 28, 2010


© Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

Who do you see as responsible for your life and happiness? Your partner? Your children? Perhaps it is your job or boss. Maybe you feel it’s where you live or what you drive. If you said yes to any of these things you should rethink who is in charge. It should be YOU.

Here is the kicker, if you aren’t happy, you are unhappy by your choice? WHAT?? You say my choice?? But I can’t help being _____ fill in the blank. But you can; you can choose to look for another way. Your choice of how you react to the ‘stuff’ going on around you puts you in either the victim role or the power role.

The victim role keeps you paralyzed and feeling that there is no way out. This in turn makes your pain, despair and fear worse. They feed off of each other to make you afraid to move. You are suffering over your own suffering.

First ask yourself “What am I getting out of staying in this situation?” Most of the time you stay because that situation is ‘the demon that you know’ and you are more comfortable not facing your unknown. But, I tell you that the anticipation of the unknown is worse than the thing itself.

When you take responsibility for your choices, I don’t mean to beat yourself up with the blame stick, I mean doing the best you can and owning your choices. I mean becoming aware of what you are not taking responsibility for so you can change your behavior to a more positive direction. I means looking for and taking advantage of the opportunities that you can find that will make your situation better; more of what you really want and not tolerating what you aren’t happy with. That is where you take your power back and make the fear diminish.

Try stepping out into your unknown, trusting that you will find firm footing or you will be taught to fly. Find out how amazing your life becomes when you stop expecting someone else to handle your ‘stuff’.

Until next week, Bright Blessings


  1. The way American society runs now-a-days it's all about who is at fault. This starts in school aged children and is perpetuated in the work place. No longer are people rewarded for the good things they do. One "Aw-SH#!@@" will out weight countless "That-a-boys".

    I have GREAT difficulty as a mother deprogramming my children of this when I have teachers (since we chose to send them to public school), and other parents undoing the "own up for your own actions" and "all actions good or bad have consiquences". This makes it very hard to combat the "perpetual fear" placed upon kids by not only there peers but by their elders as well.

    Be the change you wish to see, own up for your own actions, and words are things they cause feeling and emotion and therefor can hurt like any sword.

    Doing the best we can we arm our children and hope that they do not grow fearful, because fear of the unknown is what breeds/feeds into hate.

    Just my 2 cents as a mommy

  2. Mindy You are so correct. I understand where you are commimg from and it this type of thing I am talking about. There are indeed consequences for our actions and learning to own our mistakes and LEARN from them rather than beat ourselves up over them is where our maturity and "reprogramming" comes in. Making mistakes is human, what we do after we make them is what makes us victim or victor.