Stress and ways to handle it

STRESS
AND WAYS TO HANDLE IT

© Chessie Roberts 2009 all right reserved.

                                           Used on blogsopt,chessiesEOS by permission

Do you have concerns about things such as the economy, budget cuts, your life in general, cash flow, higher demands on your time and resources, that next load of laundry, anything at all? Well a yes answer to any of those puts you in the “you have stress” category. Not to worry, help is on the way.

Some warning signs of becoming overwhelmed by stress (not to scare you but to inform you) can also be explained by other, possible medical situations so, before we go any further, if you feel that you are experiencing any of these symptoms or warning signs, PLEASE see your doctor or health care provider for an exam to be sure where your personal ‘stuff’ is coming from.

CHANGES IN YOUR BEHAVIOR:
Nervous habits either starting or coming back
Pulling away, isolating yourself
Eating (too much or not enough)
Use of nicotine, alcohol or any drug (prescription or recreational)
Neglecting your responsibilities
Procrastination
Sleeping (too much or not enough)

CHANGES IN YOUR THOUGHT PROCESSES;
Difficulty or an inability to concentrate
Focusing only on negative aspects of your life
Problems with memory
Constant worrying
Difficulty or an inability to focus for any length of time
Displaying poor judgment
Overly anxious
Racing thoughts

YOUR PHYSICAL BODY;
Loss of sex drive
More frequent occurrence in respiratory problems, such as;
Colds, sinus infections, bronchitis etc
Frequent gastro/intestinal problems, such as;
Diarrhea, gas, constipation, cramps, nausea etc.
Dizziness
Pain in chest and/or upper arm
Heart rate becomes rapid
General, undefined aches and pains


YOUR EMOTIONS;
Feeling overwhelmed
Moodiness; irritable, agitated, can’t relax, can’t get going, short tempered
Depressed, don’t care
Feeling alone or isolated (even around others)
Generally unhappy with everything/one

You need to remember that your emotions and actions are contagious to both yourself and to others. If you are able to control you in a balanced manner that too will spread to those around you and you are ahead of the game. Because once you are in a downward spiral, it will build.

How does this occur you may ask? It happens because thoughts are fluctuations of energy that are carried by chemicals called neuropeptides. Your body is a shameless eavesdropper and will instantly react to your thoughts even before you are aware of them. Have you ever been startled by what you thought was a spider or a snake only to discover that you were mistaken? Well there you have a perfect example of the phenomenon.

This also occurs when you speak of something you ‘feel’. I learned my lesson the hard way. I was at my chiropractors one day because of terrible lower back spasms. While on the table the Dr. and I were conversing about my day and I answered one of his questions with a cleaver quote from a movie that I was currently using for laughs, “That makes my butt twitch.” I know, I know, not very ladylike but the Dr noticed that as I spoke the quote, I had another spasm! He said, “I think I found your problem.” And he was correct. I stopped saying that particular phrase and my spasms dropped off dramatically.

Lesson here is when you pay attention to your ‘self’ on a conscious level, you become better in tune with you so you know sooner when you are reaching your limit. So what can you do to help yourself? First, breathe. As you breathe, you exchange the atoms of your body. As you replace the tired ones with fresh ones, you feel better. Regular breathing will exchange about 98% of your body’s atoms per year, deep conscious breathing raises that rate. I’m talking about the deep in through the nose, blow it out through the mouth, empty your lungs kind of breathing. (Careful and don’t hyperventilate) you should not have to do this more that 3-4 times to feel the effects.
Here are some other ways to control or reduce stress;

PHYSICAL BODY/LIFESTYLE CHANGES; (start with small steps)
Move; walk, drink water not soda make better food choices
Cut way down on nicotine and alcohol
Get into a regular sleep schedule
Balance you work, family, rest, play time
Don’t over or under commit (you will learn where your limits are)
Leave some wiggle room in your schedule, leave earlier to account for traffic etc
Take breaks and leave your desk, room or building
Prioritize tasks, delegate when you can and to the least pleasant first or when you are at
Your strongest time of day
Hydrate yourself

YOUR MENTAL STATE (MIND);
Learn and practice meditation (pray to ask, meditate to listen for answers)
Learn and practice correct self talk to create better communication with yourself and
Consequently, others.
Make time to read positive, up lifting things that are not business related
Find/make a calm, quiet place (it really is ok to have one)
Learn to truly like your ‘self’ with no judgments or criticism
Hydrate

YOUR SPIRIT;
Have/attend regular religious/spiritual rituals to reconnect with the Greater Power
Pray to ask
Meditate to listen/help
Help someone in true need
Laugh with genuine humor
Learn with gratitude, love and joy
Enjoy

“Remember the definition of relaxing is not lying on the couch, sleeping or being lazy; it is a mentally active practice that leaves the body relaxed and refreshed. It is best done in an awake state. It is a trainable exercise that gets better with practice.” University of Michigan Health Center

Bright Blessings, Chessie

Positive

© Chessie Roberts 2009 all rights reserved.

              Used on Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance by permission


I looked up the word, ‘positive’ in the dictionary and was surprised to see that it has 30 different definitions. I had to read them all to see which one pertained to this article and I decided it was #4; emphasizing what is laudable, hopeful, to the good; constructive. I feel that these qualities are being lost in the 21st century for many reasons but the one I want to stress here is our CHOICES.

We have both the ability and the right to choose to be positive, hopeful and constructive. I have found, in my years of teaching this concept that some people choose to enjoy being miserable. Now I don’t condone that choice, but I do not condemn it either. I just choose not to associate with those who choose this lifestyle.

I have also discovered a very interesting truth about being positive; it is energizing whereas negativity is draining; it takes a lot of energy to stay unhappy! I don’t know about you, but I have far better things to use my energy on that will help, motivate and edify others and that makes me happy. Will you join me in being optimistic, confident, constructive, helpful and encouraging? You will find that your life will be positively different for making that choice.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

Sign in Eleanor Roosevelt’s office; “No one can ‘make you’ without your permission.”

Balance

Balance

                                             © Chessie Roberts 2009 all rights reserved

                   Used on Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance by permission

Balance is a tricky thing. Financially ones income needs to balance ones out go; in Nature, wet needs to balance dry, light, dark. Your vehicle needs its systems to be in balance for it to function properly. In life work needs to balance play and action, rest.

So the mental and physical need to balance with the spiritual; if we are too invested in one, the other two will go wanting. Our physical body is usually our first focus because we see it all the time and others are there to point out where improvement is seemingly needed. Our second focus is usually the mental spoke of our wheel as we strive to learn and grow. Too often our spiritual part is the last to be investigated.

Once we begin our spiritual growth process we find wondrous things begin to happen, we begin to vibrate to new rhythms, those of a higher nature, closer to creation and universal truth. When that happens things just seem to work better because our balance is returning and we, whole once again feel our true purpose and we travel the path of growth for which we were intended.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

“If we are going to be happy, we have to be happy on purpose.” Joyce Myer

PART TWO, FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

PART TWO, FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

© Chessie Roberts 2010 all rights reserved

“Your mind is the most marvelous bio-computer ever created. It does not deal with vague ideas; it is activated by specifics.” Denis Waitley

I asked you last time where your power is, who/what is controlling it. Listen to the words you use when you think or talk about what you are holding fear about. Do you say things like “I can’t…”, “I hope…”, “What if…”, “That is horrible…”, “It’s not my fault…” or “That is a problem…”? I tell you now that you are using vocabulary that feeds your fear and destroys your power/strength to attempt to grow. Yes, for you who have taken levels 1 and 2, this goes back to proper self talk. By changing your verbiage, you begin to change your attitude, your focus and your emotions about what you feel you want to do.

Try these words instead; “I won’t…” Won’t implies that you have chosen to use your power not to do something, rather than meekly give in to circumstances beyond your control. Your subconscious hears it as “I’m weak” so you will be. Or as an alternative, try using, “I choose to…” and see/feel the difference.

Try changing ‘hope’ to; know. Hope tells your subconscious that there is a good chance that whatever you want will not manifest; i.e., “I hope I can go home for the holidays”. Now changing the one word, “I know I can go home…” puts your power back into your hands,

“What if’ gives the Universe your permission to walk all over you. It tells your subconscious that you are completely out of control. Because it is a vague and wishy-washy statement, it is also a waste of your energy. Don’t use it at all.

“That is horrible” can be replaced with the thought that whatever it is can be a challenge, and opportunity to help someone or to grow.

The “it’s not my fault” is a cop-out. If it is yours, own it. This is extremely empowering. It makes you the powerful person you want to be, not the victim. If you take responsibility for your life and what goes on in it you have the power to change things for the better.

The change of the word ‘problem’ to the word ‘opportunity’ opens your mindset to one that stretches to embrace the growth that will enable you to become the person you want to become.

As you change to a more powerful vocabulary, your thought processes will follow. This will change how you see yourself, thus changing how others see you, making your self-confidence grow and fear diminish. This will create the ability for you to handle more things that are outside your normal comfort zone and that leads to awesome opportunities for you to enjoy.

Until next week; Bright Blessings. Chessie

 

                           HOW MARK MET JOSIE   

As told to Peggie by Mark (Papaw)

© C. S. Roberts 2025

     One day I was headed for school, I chanced to go a different way than I usually did, I was feeling particularly jaunty that day, so I guess it was on account of my new shoes.

     It hadn’t started to really warm up to summertime yet, but the spring thaw was definitely on the way. The thaw was causing the ordinarily small little stream across the road to become larger and more rambunctious. I got to it just before it had gotten out of hand.

I looked for the highest point of land still visible in the flowing water and used that as a landing spot so I could jump again to reach the other side without getting my new shoes too wet.

     About the time I landed on the school side of what was fast becoming a torrent, I heard the unmistakable sounds of giggling girls behind me. I spun around to see Josie Graham and her friends standing on the other side laughing at my antics to cross the now impassable over wash.

     By this point I was embarrassed but I couldn’t let them know. I was holding a big secret, I was sweet on Josie and hadn’t let on to anyone, least of all her. In my pique, I hollered the first thing that came to mind. I said, “Come to the river, couldn’t get a cross! Give five dollars for an old grey horse!” Laughing at my own cleverness, I turned and ran all the way to school.

     The girls didn’t get there that day because of the flooding, but the teacher knew that was a problem and no one got in trouble for missing class.

                    PEGGIE’S NOTES ON THIS TALE

     In my lifetime with Papaw, I must have heard this story ten thousand times and, each time it was just a little bit different. In some versions, he wasn’t embarrassed at all and in others, he somehow rescued the girls and was the hero of the day. At other tellings the world knew about his crush on the one who was to become my most beloved Memaw, but the part I noticed the most as a child was the poem.

     The other version of it went like this: “Come to the river, couldn’t get across. Jumped on an alligator, thought it was a horse.” Then he would guffaw at his cleverness and bravado. Memaw, aka Josie, if she was in earshot, would just smile and shake her head. We were never certain which version was the most accurate and, truth be told, I don’t think Papaw did either.

     We were never bored listening to him, the fact of the matter is, I wish he was still here to tell it again,

 

Josie’s school picture. She is in the second row, second in from the left.

 

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TIME

© Chessie Roberts 2011 All rights reserved

In a rare moment with nothing pressing to do, I was "visiting" friends' timelines a few weeks ago causing me to write this.

The children that played with me are now gray haired and have children of their own.

My little ones are grown with littles of their own.

My body is sagging and flapping in undignified ways, and I wonder who the stranger is that lives in my mirror.

Sometimes she looks remarkably like my mother and other times, I'm not sure exactly who she resembles.

I don't care for stairs anymore and climb trees only in my memory.

The children call out strange words like “Watch me Grammy” and “Grandpa see how fast I can run!” Some of them are bringing others to me saying, “This is my boy/girlfriend.”

The little ones that I used to baby sit are sending their children off to college or the military.

My own Grands are married and/or leaving for collage, all of them with dreams I know little about.

I was stunned to recently meet my first great grandchild.

I am wondering where the time has gone...do others miss it?

Do they see it streaming by in the people around them? DO they understand? Do they know?

Do they feel it yet? Do they wonder yet who lives in their mirror? Time is an awesome equalizer.