WHERE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHERE YOU ARE NOW?

               WHERE IS MORE IMPORTANT

                THAN WHERE YOU ARE NOW?
          © Chessie Roberts2010, all rights reserved

When I was a teenager the trend of the day for the girls was to wash and roll your hair in the morning and to keep the rollers in until time for your ‘special event’ of the day. Your ‘event’ could be a date, shopping with your friends or going out to dinner with the family, anything would do for the main happening for the day. My Mother and I would argue horribly over this particular teenage tradition. One day I was reading a newspaper column by Ann Landers where she asked a (what was for me) life changing question.

“Where are you going that is more important than where you are now?”

I was recently reminded of this question when I was talking to a friend of mine. He was lamenting the fact that he had not had a good time at a play that he had attended. I asked what had happened to keep him from enjoying the play and he told me that the lights had been turned down and he could not read the book he wanted to read. I would have thought he would have been watching the play that he had paid to attend rather than reading a book. Who does that I asked myself?

I soon discovered that even on camping trips people are playing video games, texting (and being annoyed by incoming texts), talking on cell phones and being upset by weak signals to their appliances. Even getting to the woods, children must now be entertained with movies rather than paying attention to what is outside the car window. My thought is why go camping if you are going to stay tethered?

As I work with people in the Evolution of Self program, I find that many people are very unhappy because they are trying to be in more places than where they physically are. I can see that there are times when this is required but not every minute of the day. (I also learned that our minds do not actually multi-task, they just do more than one thing poorly.)

Start looking at where you are now, what you are supposed to be doing now and concentrate on that, be in that ‘now’. Don’t worry about where you will need to be in the next hour or day and do your best where you are now. Begin asking yourself, “Where is more important than where I am right now?” Make your ‘now’ as important as your ‘later’ so that you stay focused. Then, when you finish that time frame move on to the next.

Anticipation is a good thing but not to the detriment of you being in your ‘now’. Learn to enjoy the ‘now’ no matter where or what it is and you will find that your days go by better and your enjoyment of life increases.
Bright Blessings, Chessie

FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF Part 3, Where is Your Comfort Zone?

   3 FEAR IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF Part 3

                        © Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

Where is Your Comfort Zone?

Our comfort zone is the little box we live in where everything is j-u-s-t the way we like it, we are comfortable. Sounds great right? Well, I guess it can be, but we need to watch out because it can keep us from growing, moving, sharing, or creating. To do that, we must (shaky, scary letters here) STEP OUT OF THE ZONE. That is sometimes a very fear-inducing thing to do.

Where are the boundaries of your comfort zone? Do you feel comfortable talking to strangers? Is it easy for you to eat alone in a restaurant? How do you feel about public speaking? How about going into a social situation unescorted? Would you rather hug someone (not family), shake hands or hide in a hole? Does interstate traffic make you wish you were driving a tank instead of your poor defenseless car? Do places of authority scare the starch right out of you?

I understand, there are things outside everyone’s comfort zone. Things that you would rather chew broken glass than face. things that you fear and that is ok. Here is where we talk about changing that. Don’t panic, you don’t have to make a speech on top of a speeding truck on the interstate, baby steps, baby steps.

What I am advocating is just expanding the zone of what is comfortable for you. As you overcome things that make you fearful, your courage to try something new grows. As that happens, you become more and more powerful and fear less.

Let’s break it down. To be able to begin talking to someone you don’t know very well try just asking the time or complementing something about that person. When this is comfortable you can ask questions that require conversation on the part of the other person. Soon you will be able to speak to anyone.

Eating alone in a restaurant is intimidating to a lot of people so know you are not alone. Start small with a fast-food place. Everyone is in a hurry, and you won’t be noticed. Then move up to some place that caters to your neighborhood. Next, try the larger chains, by then you will be able to go anywhere.

Public speaking is the most feared thing out there and I strongly suggest a public speaking club such as Toastmasters. They will walk you right through it with all the support, encouragement and guidance you can ever want.

Get the picture here? Just take one small step until you feel comfortable and then the next. Every time you reach and stretch, you grow closer to handling your fears in a powerful, productive and positive way.

Until next week, Bright Blessings. Chessie

FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF PART ONE

    

       FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

                      © Chessie Roberts 2010 All rights reserved

Fear is a learned emotion. We are taught to fear falling, eating poison, walking out into traffic, getting into cars with strangers… things like that. And those fears are OK to have. They serve a purpose and have their place in our lives. For most of us these ‘fears’ become common sense as we mature and learn who to cope with the world around us. Still, there are those stubborn, irrational fears that make no sense to us or anyone else and we don’t understand why we have them or where they came from, and they are OK too. That is as long as they don’t cripple you or stop your forward growth.

Here is a flash for you; as long as you grow, you will face fears. Yep, you heard me, but most of the time it isn’t the even, action or circumstance that has you nibbling at your nails, it is the anticipation of doing something that is out of your comfort zone and guess what? Everyone has to face this at one time or another, not just you.

In her book, “Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway” Susan Jefferies, PH.D. tells us that there are 5 truths about fear:
1) The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow (where have you read that before? This is me asking you)
2) The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go do it.
3) The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it. (Are you starting to see a pattern here? That is me asking again.)
4) Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, (pay attention here this is life changing) SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. (Didn’t see that one coming did you?)
5) Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

So to follow that thinking, if it happens to everyone anytime they encounter something new and they do whatever it is anyway then we need to admit to ourselves that fear is not the real problem.

 Just for now I ask you to consider, where does your power lie? Is it held by the fear of what you don’t know, or by what you think you know? Maybe it is held by what you feel might happen if you do this or that, or maybe if you don’t do whatever it is. Think about it, leave your thoughts if you would like and we will talk more about this fascinating subject next week.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

Bridging Mind/Body Consciousness

                 Bridging Mind/Body Consciousness

                        (c) C. S. Roberts 2025 all rights reserved

Because the intelligence that controls the Universe is the very same one that controls everyone and everything, we are not alone. We are ultimately connected to all life from the ultra, infinitesimal, subatomic particle all the way out to the entire cosmos.

This is the bridging concept that connects body/mind; consciousness/physiology; individual environment/universal intelligence. This is the natural order that helps people live longer, healthier lives that are in harmony with our environment, which is the birthright of every individual.

Maharishi Ayur-Veda says that the primary source of human suffering as a lack of connection with our body’s inner intelligence. {The ancient word for this is paragyaparadh, meaning ‘the mistake of the intellect’.} This ‘mistake of the intellect’ is the idea that what we experience through our senses, touch, sight, taste, sound, smell is all there is of life. Kind of like looking at the waves on the ocean and deciding that they are what there is to know of the ocean and not looking below the surface.

Wholeness is actually a state of awareness, of perfect balance. This balance is the point at which we are inwardly aware and in tune with Nature’s silent rhythms that are our source of our inner intelligence. That stability and groundedness is what keeps us healthy in all three areas of our humanity, body, mind and spirit.

Western medicine teaches us to listen to another person [the Dr.] rather to our physicality, our inner awareness which knows that something is wrong long before we ‘see’ any symptoms rather than us becoming aware enough of something within being ‘off’. When we are responsive to our body’s internal rhythms, we can look inside to see where we are out of balance. We can feel what has tipped over too far or not far enough.

OUR LIFE’S DHARMA, OUR PURPOSE.

Our job must fit within our balancing act; it must reflect our purpose, our dharma. If it doesn’t, then we are unhappy in our work and there is no satisfaction in what we are doing with our lives.

If we are aware of our purpose and our job reflects that and we are comfortable in our circumstances. This awareness creates a lovely flow and sense of wellbeing in our daily lives. Things seem to be accomplished without effort or struggle, with little to no stress or fatigue.

Conversely,  if we are not in awareness, balance and flow with ourselves and the universe, we are unhappy, stressed and worn out all of the time, we are creating toxins within our bodies and we will be ill in some or all aspects of our three parts.

Remember that job satisfaction and being happy with ourselves are the 2 MOST IMPORTANT RISK FACTORS for heart disease and other dramatic illnesses.

DE-STRESS WITH EOS

                    DESTRESS WITH EOS 

                                                      © Chessie Roberts 2009 

                                          used on blogspot & linkedin by permission

Do you have concerns about this economy, budget cuts, cash flow, life in general, higher demands on your productivity, resources or or performance, your next business meeting? Then you have stress

I caution you here that stress is the number one killer in the United States (possibly in the world). Nine o’clock on Monday morning is the optimum time for this to occur.

Did you know that your emotions are contagious to yourself and others? This is because thoughts are actually fluctuations of energy that are carried throughout your body by chemicals called neuropeptides. Because you brain and physiology talk to each other through these neuropeptides, your brain is constantly eavesdropping on your body and your body is constantly eavesdropping on your thoughts. Because of this eavesdropping phenomenon, your body will react to a thought before you are even aware of it. Have you ever been startled by what looked like a snake in your yard only to realize, after you jumped and screamed that it was the garden hose? Maybe a spider appeared in an unexpected place only to turn out to be a fuzz ball? That is what I am speaking about.

I had this lesson taught to me very strongly one day at my chiropractors’ office. I had come in for relief from some horrible spasms that were occurring in my lower back He and I were chatting as he was making adjustments and he asked my opinion about some subject. My reply was forming on my lips when my spasm started in full force. What my reply was to be was; “That makes my butt twitch”. Do I have to tell you I don’t say that any more? The point here is that you think it and your body does it, whether you realize it or not, whether that’s what you want it to do or not. Therefore, we need to pay attention to our selves on a more conscious and aware level. If we do that, we will know sooner when we are reaching our limits and be able to lower the stress levels in a safe and positive manner.

A lot of my clients ask me just how stress hurts us. At each end of each chromosome are things called telomeres. These act much like the aglets (or fluggle-binders for those of you who are ‘Cocktail’ fans) on the ends of shoe laces. The telomeres are thinned down by stress chemicals, making them less and less effective in their ability to protect the chromosomes and when they are gone, the chromosome is opened to damage which can not be repaired. (60 Minutes report, August, 2005)

Some of the things we can do to help lower stress are easy and don’t cost anything. (Ha, more stress relief) Deep breathing, the in through the nose, out through the mouth kind, as you let go of tension helps. You don’t need to make yourself dizzy doing it, just two or three will help more than you realize and can be done just about anywhere. Regular breathing exchanges about 98% of your bodies a toms overt the course of a year. Conscious and aware deep breathing raises that exchange rate thus creating faster renewal which refreshes you and makes you better able to handle stress.

Since EOS is a Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance, let’s break this down the same way;

DE-STRESSING YOUR BODY; make some small lifestyle changes. Walk when you don’t need to drive (that will help distress the environment too) Take the stairs instead of the elevator, make better food and beverage choices, lower your use of alcohol and nicotine; some people see them as stress relievers but in reality, they stress your body more. Set a regular sleep schedule for your self. Go to bed and get up the same time every day, even on the weekends. Be sure you are getting the deep restoring rest that satisfies your personal requirements. Balance your time between work, family, rest and play. Play is important as a stress reliever; it lets you connect with you on levels you may not be aware of. Don’t over commit, it is OK to say no when you need to. At work, take short breaks frequently. When on longer breaks, leave your desk, office/workspace or the building when you can. Prioritize tasks and delegate when you are able. Hydrate. Your body is about 75% water and if you are dehydrated, you will not perform your best and you body will be stressed. I suggest ionized water because your body can more readily absorb it therefore it is more beneficial to you.

DE-STRESSING YOUR MIND; Learn to meditate and do it daily, learn and practice correct self talk; both of these disciplines help you develop a better communication with yourself and others. Read positive and uplifting materials that are not related to your job or profession, save those for when you are in ‘business mode’. Find or make a calm quiet place, go ahead, it is OK to do that, we all need quiet time. Learn to truly like yourself with no judgment or criticism. Hydrate. Your brain id about 95% water so when it is not hydrated properly, you don’t make good choices and decisions, nor do you feel well and your brain is terribly stressed.

DE-STRESSING YOUR SPIRIT; Attend regular religious/spiritual rituals with those of like mind. This connects you to a Greater Power, pray to ask and meditate to listen, help someone else. Helping another lightens our load because we are in the ‘giving mode’ rather than in the ‘stressed out/worried mode’. Laugh with genuine humor, learn something new and creative, learn to enjoy where yourself where you are right now rather than fret over what is wrong with where you are right now. And on of the simplest yet difficult things is to be grateful, genuinely grateful for everything you can think of. An Attitude of gratitude is one of the most powerful things we have at our disposal and, I would venture to say, one of the least used. Try it, you will be amazed.

To help you identify stress I have included a list of warning signs below. Please pay attention to the paragraph under the heading. If you are not sure what your stress level is, email me for a free work sheet that will assist you in placing just where you are in your level of stress.

Bright Blessings, Chessie


Warning Signs of Stress
These indicators can be caused by other possible medical situations. If you feel that you are experiencing any of these symptoms or warning signs, please see your physician for an exam to be sure of their origin.


Changes in Your Behavior; Changes in your Thought Process;
• Nervous habits starting or coming back
• Shaking foot/leg while waiting, nail biting, pacing
• Pulling away, isolating yourself
• Eating (too much, not enough)
• Use of nicotine, alcohol or any drug
• (prescription or recreational)
• Neglecting your responsibilities
• Procrastination
• Sleeping (too much, too little) • Difficulty or inability to concentrate
• Focusing on only the negative aspects of you life.
• Problems with memory
• Difficulty or inability to focus for any length of time
• Displaying poor judgment
• Overly anxious
• Racing thoughts
Your Physical Body; Your Emotions;
• Loss of sex drive
• More frequent occurrences in;
• Colds, respiratory problems i.e. Sinus infections, bronchitis, etc.
• Gastro-intestinal problems, frequent diarrhea, constipation, gas, cramps, nausea
• Dizziness
• Pain in chest/upper arm
• Heart rate becomes rapid
• General aches and pains • Feeling overwhelmed
• Moodiness; irritable, can’t relax, can’t get going
• Short tempered
• Depressed, don’t care
• Feeling alone or isolated (even around others)
• Unhappy with everything/every one
Remember; “The definition of relaxing is not lying on the couch sleeping or being lazy; it is a mentally active practice that leaves the body relaxed and refreshed. It is best done in an awake state. It is a trainable exercise that gets better with practice.” The University of Michigan Health Center


Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind Spirit Balance
Chessie Roberts; President, Meditation Coach

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