DENIAL AND OTHER OPIATES

                DENIAL AND OTHER OPIATES

“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid.” (Richard Bach)

Any addictive behavior that keeps us from fully living to our highest potential is a denial or an opiate. Some examples are, over shopping, hoarding, self-pity, blaming others for unfortunate circumstances, drugs, alcohol, minimizing, religion, television, justification, denial of any cycle of behavior that creates pain and/or suffering. All of us use these, and other coping mechanisms from time to time and that is alright. Getting stuck there is asking to create problems for ourselves as well as for those around us.

One of the reasons we use to make relying on denial and the numbing of our feelings ok, is that we are trying to avoid pain, or our anticipation of it. We lie to ourselves to make it seem like everything is alright. Denial and numbing are normal and natural responses for dealing with painful or overwhelming problems.

By using thoughts, actions and manipulation to defend against the pain of realizing the presence of things in our lives that we would rather not face, is just to prolong the inevitable. By sinking into addictive, manipulative or abusive behavior we just create more of what we don’t want, pain, misery and unhappiness.

Once we begin to lie to ourselves, we think that we feel a lot more comfortable because we begin to believe that we are in control again. In reality we are not. The same is true of addictive or manipulative behavior. Addiction creates the dependency on the act of addiction we choose. We keep thinking (wrongly) that if we try the behavior one more time, things will get better. Of course they don’t, so we continue our vicious cycle.

The trap with the lying is that, since nothing terrible has happened as a result of lying to ourselves, we kid ourselves into thinking that our lie is now the truth. From here we progress to lying to others and this is where the trouble starts.

The actual truth becomes further and further removed from our conscious awareness of what is worthy of us, creating problems within our mind/spirit connection. As this connection deteriorates our physicality gets in on the act. When this occurs, eventually the lies begin to show up as physical problems, aches, pains, illness and the like.

We sometimes see the advantages of denial as; having others feel sorry for us and so they try to ‘help fix’ us so we don’t have to do it, not having to take responsibility for our actions or behavior, not having to face what seems to be a problem with no solution, or not having to deal with a personal short coming.

Some of the disadvantages of using denial are; that it eventually blocks our recognition of our initial problem or flaw so we don’t see what we need to work on to make our life right. Denial and addictive behavior create the illusion that the problem is being solved or that there are more important issues to deal with so that the main issue does not need to be solved, or that it doesn’t exist at all. Denial and obsessive behavior are detrimental to all three levels of our life: body, mind, and spirit.

These create the downward spiral that causes dis-ease, as well as an imbalance that will eventually become severe enough to make us ill.

OK, so how do you fix this? Well, dare to be honest with yourself and ask the tough questions. What problems do you truly have in your life, your job, and your relationships? Just where and what do you feel are your weaknesses, flaws or limitations? Are they really things that you can change or control? How long have you been putting these things on the back burner? Which aspects of your self do feel is contributing to these problems? Write them down and then prioritize them by their importance to you.

I caution you here to be loving and gentle with yourself as you ask and answer these questions. It has been your skewed perspective and fear that got you here in the first place so don’t hurt yourself further by being harsh. There is a difference between being truthful and being critical.

Look for the good that is in you as you weed out what you want to change. Just understanding that there is work for you to do may be enough to start with. Shining the light of truth into those dark corners may seem scary at first but I tell you that is the most freeing and healing thing you can do for yourself. By keeping yourself in the dark, you are actually putting yourself at risk of your problems getting to the point that secondary ones develop as a result of not addressing your primary issues. It is like taking a pill to reduce a fever without determining what caused the fever in the first place.

Change is possible. It can be done. Your problems can be solved or effectively managed if you choose to take responsibility for your part in creating them and act with conscious awareness to do something about them. The choice to stay unhappy and ill or to become the healthy whole person you were meant to be is yours. Remember that “you cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it” (Einstein)
Here's to reaching your goal of wholeness.

Bright Blessings, Chessie
© Chessie Roberts, 2011 all rights reserved

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT BALANCE; WHATS’ THE TIE IN?

 MIND, BODY, SPIRIT BALANCE; INTRODUCTION

                         WHAT’S THE TIE IN?

So far in this blog series, I have talked about the body and a lot about the mind as well as a bit about spirit. I have even addressed balance, but what ties them together? What is the core that makes this a functioning, cyclical and renewing system? The answer is our energetic spine.

Just as the spine in our physical body carries the nerves and vessels that nourish and inform our physicality and mind so that we are functioning as well as possible, our energetic spine creates the conduit that connects spirit with biology so that we are linked in a balanced way. For this conversation we will refer to the energetic spine as our chakra (say chock- rah) system.

For the sake of keeping things in an understandable order, I will start at the bottom and work upward. I want to say before I get started that in working with the chakra system you will find that the learning and function will not be linear. While each chakra builds upon the ones under it, as well as depends on the ones above it, the “Ah-ha moments” that will occur during your studies will cause you to revisit chakras that you thought you were finished with. This re-visitation is a normal process and function of living, learning, gaining wisdom, and growing, so don’t let it throw you. As you progress through each level of your chakra system, you will have more and more of these insights that will lead to more growth, learning and sharing.

As I have told you before, Evolution of Self; Journey into Mind, Body, Spirit Balance is an experiential processes that uses many different philosophies and this is only one of them. I feel that you will benefit a great deal from a better understanding of how you work as a whole. Your body and mind need spiritual connection in order to create the balance that is required for a balanced, whole, happy life style. The following chakra blogs will just brush the surface of each level, the classes go deeper, but there is usable information that will benefit you.
Next week I will address chakra 1. Until then,

Bright Blessings, Chessie

©Chessie Roberts 2010 all rights reserved

YOUR ACTIONS AND THEIR RIPPLE EFFECT

  YOUR ACTIONS AND THEIR RIPPLE EFFECT

                © Chessie Roberts 2010 all right reserved

This is for everyone but especially for those people you may know who are convinced that they know ever so much more than any adult on the planet. You may pick up a thing or two yourself.

Have you ever thrown a pebble into a still water pond? Did you notice how far the ripples spread? What you may not see is how far they spread and exactly what they move that is floating on the surface, leaves, bugs, grass, anything growing up through the water.

Let’s think about what happens when these ripples that you have chosen to cause hit the shore of the pond. They bounce back and move toward the center of the disturbance. This reversed movement will again move everything on the waters’ surface.

Lets’ think of the ponds surface as your life and the pebble as the action that you choose to take in any given situation. The “stuff” in/on the water is now the people with whom you interact. Ready? Here we go. We will discuss other people’s pebbles at the end of this.

You get angry about something and decide to leave home (you’ll show them!!!). Of course, since you’re angry, you don’t plan well and don’t think it through well. You leave things behind and you don’t (at this time) care where you will go, what you will do when you get there nor how you will support yourself. All of this will come to you on the back-ripple side of things. To make your escape you involve your friends. They mean well but they don’t understand the ripples ether.

Now, your family finds out and gosh, they are upset!! (ah ha, you got their attention). They have to find you, so they also involve every one you know. If that doesn’t work the police get in on things (did you know that there are and will be charges, many charges filed by the police when you do this?) All manner of things fall into place, nationwide alerts go out, street cops looking for you, pictures of you are everywhere, friends (some you will know, some you may not know) and neighbors will be looking for you. Then you have the bad guys who are ALWAYS looking for an easy mark and then, I know you won’t see them coming. As a runaway, cold hungry, no back up, no support (here come those back ripples I spoke of) you are that easy mark.

As if that wasn’t enough, there are others throwing their pebbles into the pond. Those actions have their own ripple patterns, and they will interfere with the ripples of others as well as yours. This can quickly become an oogy mess. Do you have the picture? The point of this whole thing is to show you that everything you choose to do will affect everyone around you to some degree. A lot of those degrees you may not ever be aware of, and some will come back to smack you in the face. The point of this is, pay attention and keep your mind with you at all times. OK?

For the more positive and evolved of you out there, this is also the case with the good actions. Be aware that some of the ripples counteract other ripples (like people praying for different outcomes to the same situation) and some enhance them (that is why many praying for a single outcome works so powerfully). If you know someone that you may be able to help with this please feel free to pass it on.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

HOW DO I SLOW DOWN TO LET MY FRIENDS CATCH UP?

    HOW DO I SLOW DOWN TO LET MY FRIENDS

                                   CATCH UP?           

One of the responses that I received to my invitation to ask topic questions was “How do I slow down so that my friends and family can catch up with my growth?”

The short answer is that you don’t. Everyone understands and grows at their own rate. I am sure you have heard the saying that “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”. Your friends and loved ones may have their “Ah-ha” moments at different times than you do. That is OK. You must be yourself and they must be themselves. This is one of those things over which you have no control and that is OK as well.

If you attempt to stunt your growth to accommodate someone else’s schedule, you will find quickly that it feels uncomfortable for you. You may find that you are frustrated, angry or there may be some pain involved. All of these fear-based feelings occur because you are denying yourself who and what you are becoming. Learning is why you are on this path in the first place, right?

Now if you choose to keep this (these people) person in your life, focus on what you love about them rather than what you don’t. If you focus on the negatives and differences, you will find that this is where your discomfort starts.

Focusing on what you love about them will allow your vibrations to continue to rise and spontaneously, theirs will too. Now I’m not telling you to grab their hand and haul them up there with you, the love and the Universe will take care of all of that. If you try, you will be right back at the beginning of the question.

See your growth as an opportunity to share your knowledge and opinions with others while allowing them to share their knowledge and opinions with you. Their opinions and knowledge may be different, but you can still learn from them if you choose to allow yourself to listen.

If your friends are uncomfortable around you then that is their issue, not yours. Your issue is your growth. So…give yourself, your friends and loved one’s space and the freedom to just Be. You will see that it all works out just as it is meant to in the end. It is OK to outgrow people and have them out grow you, but by the same process, you will be growing up toward others, that is how we learn and become what we are to become.

Bright Blessings Chessie
© 2010 Chessie Roberts, all rights reserved

Invation to all followers of Evolution of Self; Journey into Body,Mind,Spirit Balance

                               TOPICS PLEASE

Dear Readers (if you will permit me to borrow the phrase), I have been talking to you about all sorts of topics in these blogs. I thought that you may have topics you would like to see covered. Here is your chance to tell me what you want to read about.

Some of you are new to Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance so here is a brief overview. This is a program that helps anyone who wishes to participate to regain their balance in these three areas. I created it in an effort to heal myself and found that others wanted to know and understand what I had done.

The program covers

1) Your birthright; the information with you were born and what became of it.

2) Centering which is about pulling yourself together to clear an inner pathway for your energy to travel.

3) Grounding yourself to the Earth that is your energetic source.

4) How to create a calm mindset to help you stay focused and less stressed.

5) The proper way to speak to yourself without judgment or criticism.

6) How to visualize what you truly want.

7-13) How to tap into each internal energy center and make it more efficient for you.

Let me know what you would like to read more about and I will address each topic in order of its demand. You may email me at chessrob05@gmail.com, post a message or go to the discussions tab on Facebook or comment at this blog site. I check all of them regularly. Bright Blessings, Chessie

© C. S. Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE AND HAPPINESS

     FEAR; IT’S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF
     WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE

                   AND HAPPINESS?
                 © Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved


Who do you see as responsible for your life and happiness? Your partner? Your children? Perhaps it is your job or boss. Maybe you feel it’s where you live or what you drive. If you said yes to any of these things you should rethink who is in charge. It should be YOU.

Here is the kicker, if you aren’t happy, are you unhappy by your choice? WHAT?? You say my choice?? But I can’t help being _____ fill in the blank. But you can; you can choose to look for another way. Your choice of how you react to the ‘stuff’ going on around you puts you in either the victim role or the power role.

The victim role keeps you paralyzed and feeling that there is no way out. This in turn makes your pain, despair and fear worse. They feed off each other to make you afraid to move. You are suffering over your own suffering.

First ask yourself, “What am I getting out of staying in this situation?” Most of the time you stay because that situation is ‘the demon that you know’ and you are more comfortable not facing your unknown. But I tell you that the anticipation of the unknown is worse than the thing itself.

When you take responsibility for your choices, I don’t mean to beat yourself up with the blame stick, I mean doing the best you can and owning your choices. I mean becoming aware of what you are not taking responsibility for so you can change your behavior toward a more positive direction. I mean looking for and taking advantage of the opportunities that you can find will make your situation better. Moving yourself toward more of what you really want and not tolerating what you aren’t happy with. That is where you take your power back and make the fear diminish.

Try stepping out into your unknown, trusting that you will find firm footing or you will be taught to fly. Find out how amazing your life becomes when you stop expecting someone else to handle your ‘stuff’.

Until next week, Bright Blessings
Chessie

FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF Part 3, Where is Your Comfort Zone?

   3 FEAR IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF Part 3

                        © Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

Where is Your Comfort Zone?

Our comfort zone is the little box we live in where everything is j-u-s-t the way we like it, we are comfortable. Sounds great right? Well, I guess it can be, but we need to watch out because it can keep us from growing, moving, sharing, or creating. To do that, we must (shaky, scary letters here) STEP OUT OF THE ZONE. That is sometimes a very fear-inducing thing to do.

Where are the boundaries of your comfort zone? Do you feel comfortable talking to strangers? Is it easy for you to eat alone in a restaurant? How do you feel about public speaking? How about going into a social situation unescorted? Would you rather hug someone (not family), shake hands or hide in a hole? Does interstate traffic make you wish you were driving a tank instead of your poor defenseless car? Do places of authority scare the starch right out of you?

I understand, there are things outside everyone’s comfort zone. Things that you would rather chew broken glass than face. things that you fear and that is ok. Here is where we talk about changing that. Don’t panic, you don’t have to make a speech on top of a speeding truck on the interstate, baby steps, baby steps.

What I am advocating is just expanding the zone of what is comfortable for you. As you overcome things that make you fearful, your courage to try something new grows. As that happens, you become more and more powerful and fear less.

Let’s break it down. To be able to begin talking to someone you don’t know very well try just asking the time or complementing something about that person. When this is comfortable you can ask questions that require conversation on the part of the other person. Soon you will be able to speak to anyone.

Eating alone in a restaurant is intimidating to a lot of people so know you are not alone. Start small with a fast-food place. Everyone is in a hurry, and you won’t be noticed. Then move up to some place that caters to your neighborhood. Next, try the larger chains, by then you will be able to go anywhere.

Public speaking is the most feared thing out there and I strongly suggest a public speaking club such as Toastmasters. They will walk you right through it with all the support, encouragement and guidance you can ever want.

Get the picture here? Just take one small step until you feel comfortable and then the next. Every time you reach and stretch, you grow closer to handling your fears in a powerful, productive and positive way.

Until next week, Bright Blessings. Chessie

PART TWO, FEAR, IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

                          

                        PART TWO, FEAR

             IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF
                     © Chessie Roberts 2010 all rights reserved


“Your mind is the most marvelous bio-computer ever created. It does not deal with vague ideas; it is activated by specifics.”  Denis Waitley

I asked you last time where your power is, who/what is controlling it. Listen to the words you use when you think or talk about what you are holding fear about. Do you say things like “I can’t…”, “I hope…”, “What if…”, “That is horrible…”, “It’s not my fault…” or “That is a problem…”? I tell you now that you are using vocabulary that feeds your fear and destroys your power/strength to attempt to grow.

Yes, for those of you who have taken levels 1 and 2, this goes back to proper self-talk. By changing your verbiage, you begin to change your attitude, your focus and your emotions about what you feel you want to do.

Try these words instead; forget “I won’t…”  Because won’t implies that you have chosen to use your power not to do something, rather than meekly give in to circumstances beyond your control. Your subconscious hears it as “I’m weak” so you will be. As an alternative, try using, “I choose to…” and see/feel the difference.

Try changing ‘hope’ to; know. Hope tells your subconscious that there is a good chance that whatever you want will not manifest, i.e., “I hope I can go home for the holidays”. Now changing the one word, “I know I can go home…” puts your power back into your hands.

“What if’ gives the Universe your permission to walk all over you. It tells your subconscious that you are completely out of control. Because it is a vague and wishy-washy statement, it is also a waste of your energy. Don’t use it at all.

“That is horrible” can be replaced with the thought that whatever it is can be a challenge, and opportunity to help someone or to grow.

The “it’s not my fault” is a cop-out. If it is yours, own it. This is extremely empowering. It makes you the powerful person you want to be, not the victim. If you take responsibility for your life and what goes on in it you have the power to change things for the better.

The change of the word ‘problem’ to the word ‘opportunity’ opens your mindset to one that stretches to embrace the growth that will enable you to become the person you want to become.

You can also get great results by changing the words fear, scared, anxious or nervous to words like excitement, anticipation, and the phrase ‘looking forward to’. These changes take a while to penetrate but are well worth the work.

As you change to a more powerful vocabulary, your thought processes will follow. This will change how you see yourself, thus changing how others see you, making your self-confidence grow and fear diminish. This will create the ability for you to handle more things that are outside your normal comfort zone and that leads to awesome opportunities for you to enjoy.

Until next week; Bright Blessings. Chessie

FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF PART ONE

    

       FEAR; IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

                      © Chessie Roberts 2010 All rights reserved

Fear is a learned emotion. We are taught to fear falling, eating poison, walking out into traffic, getting into cars with strangers… things like that. And those fears are OK to have. They serve a purpose and have their place in our lives. For most of us these ‘fears’ become common sense as we mature and learn who to cope with the world around us. Still, there are those stubborn, irrational fears that make no sense to us or anyone else and we don’t understand why we have them or where they came from, and they are OK too. That is as long as they don’t cripple you or stop your forward growth.

Here is a flash for you; as long as you grow, you will face fears. Yep, you heard me, but most of the time it isn’t the even, action or circumstance that has you nibbling at your nails, it is the anticipation of doing something that is out of your comfort zone and guess what? Everyone has to face this at one time or another, not just you.

In her book, “Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway” Susan Jefferies, PH.D. tells us that there are 5 truths about fear:
1) The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow (where have you read that before? This is me asking you)
2) The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go do it.
3) The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it. (Are you starting to see a pattern here? That is me asking again.)
4) Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, (pay attention here this is life changing) SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. (Didn’t see that one coming did you?)
5) Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

So to follow that thinking, if it happens to everyone anytime they encounter something new and they do whatever it is anyway then we need to admit to ourselves that fear is not the real problem.

 Just for now I ask you to consider, where does your power lie? Is it held by the fear of what you don’t know, or by what you think you know? Maybe it is held by what you feel might happen if you do this or that, or maybe if you don’t do whatever it is. Think about it, leave your thoughts if you would like and we will talk more about this fascinating subject next week.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

Bridging Mind/Body Consciousness

                 Bridging Mind/Body Consciousness

                        (c) C. S. Roberts 2025 all rights reserved

Because the intelligence that controls the Universe is the very same one that controls everyone and everything, we are not alone. We are ultimately connected to all life from the ultra, infinitesimal, subatomic particle all the way out to the entire cosmos.

This is the bridging concept that connects body/mind; consciousness/physiology; individual environment/universal intelligence. This is the natural order that helps people live longer, healthier lives that are in harmony with our environment, which is the birthright of every individual.

Maharishi Ayur-Veda says that the primary source of human suffering as a lack of connection with our body’s inner intelligence. {The ancient word for this is paragyaparadh, meaning ‘the mistake of the intellect’.} This ‘mistake of the intellect’ is the idea that what we experience through our senses, touch, sight, taste, sound, smell is all there is of life. Kind of like looking at the waves on the ocean and deciding that they are what there is to know of the ocean and not looking below the surface.

Wholeness is actually a state of awareness, of perfect balance. This balance is the point at which we are inwardly aware and in tune with Nature’s silent rhythms that are our source of our inner intelligence. That stability and groundedness is what keeps us healthy in all three areas of our humanity, body, mind and spirit.

Western medicine teaches us to listen to another person [the Dr.] rather to our physicality, our inner awareness which knows that something is wrong long before we ‘see’ any symptoms rather than us becoming aware enough of something within being ‘off’. When we are responsive to our body’s internal rhythms, we can look inside to see where we are out of balance. We can feel what has tipped over too far or not far enough.

OUR LIFE’S DHARMA, OUR PURPOSE.

Our job must fit within our balancing act; it must reflect our purpose, our dharma. If it doesn’t, then we are unhappy in our work and there is no satisfaction in what we are doing with our lives.

If we are aware of our purpose and our job reflects that and we are comfortable in our circumstances. This awareness creates a lovely flow and sense of wellbeing in our daily lives. Things seem to be accomplished without effort or struggle, with little to no stress or fatigue.

Conversely,  if we are not in awareness, balance and flow with ourselves and the universe, we are unhappy, stressed and worn out all of the time, we are creating toxins within our bodies and we will be ill in some or all aspects of our three parts.

Remember that job satisfaction and being happy with ourselves are the 2 MOST IMPORTANT RISK FACTORS for heart disease and other dramatic illnesses.