Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Benefits of Criticism from Katy West,




 






                 The Benefits of Criticism: 
               from  Katy West, Group of 1
                     January 11, 2012  
                                          reshared with permission thanks Katy

Personal Growth
1.Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. It’s not easy to take an honest look at yourself and your weaknesses, but you can only grow if you’re willing to try.
2.Learning from criticism allows you to improve.  Almost every critique gives you a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow you visualize.
3.Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and new ideas you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking.
4.Your critics give you an opportunity to practice active listening. This means you resist the urge to analyze in your head, planning your rebuttal, and simply consider what the other person is saying.
5.You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Emotional Benefits
6.It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!
7.Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when you’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with your critic.
8.Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues. Maybe you’re sensitive about your intelligence because you’re holding onto something someone said to you years ago—something you need to release.
9.Interpreting someone else's feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.
10.Criticism encourages you to question your instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

Improved Relationships
11.Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Often times, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.
12.Fielding criticism well helps you mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for your personal growth, and damaging for relationships.
13.Your critics give you an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies. Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.
14.Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. If someone delivers it poorly, you can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”
15.Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend thinks you load the dishwasher “wrong.”

Time Efficiency
16.The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it.
17.If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When you think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!
18. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.
19.Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding the well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day.
20. In some cases, criticism teaches you how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future.

Self Confidence
21.Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life. The more attention your work receives, the more criticism you’ll have to field.
22. When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. If you secretly agree that you’re lazy, you should get to the root of that. Why do you believe that—and what can you do about it?
23.Learning to move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel incredibly confident, ensures no isolated comment prevents you from seizing your dreams. Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff; takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!
24. When someone else appraises you harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk'  Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor and change your thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!

 “May the entire Universe be filled with Peace and Joy, Love and Light. May the light of Truth overcome all darkness! Victory to that Light! Jai!” Bright Blessings to you all, Chessie

Sunday, June 17, 2012

NO, REALLY I LOVE IT




                     NO, I REALLY LOVE IT 
                                                 © Chessie Roberts 2012 All rights reserved
I was having my hair cut the other day and the gentleman in the chair next to me and I struck up a conversation about people in a relationship. He said that he had learned in his life to just say “Yes dear, that is lovely! No, really, I love it.” no matter how it looked. I countered that it wasn't that way with my husband and me. If he thought something looked off, wrong or not flattering, he would tell me so. The man said, “and you get mad and there is a fight, right?”

I took a few seconds to think about it and decided that I could answer with all honesty, “No, we don't fight. I ask for his opinion expecting honesty and I get it. Why should I be mad when I asked for his truthful opinion?” My conversation partner, and the hairdresser were both unconvinced. They decided that I was being duped and that my take on it was all wrong.... this made me sad, not for me but for them.

On my way home and for a few hours after this encounter I pondered this topic. Are all relationships as dishonest and shallow as the one they had described? When I got home, I posed the conversation to my husband and he raised an eyebrow and asked me if I was questioning his veracity at this late date (we have been married almost 19 years) I told him no, that I was wondering about other people.

One of the things that gets promised in most wedding vows is to love, honor, and cherish the other person. I am forced, in light of this conversation, to wonder how one can love, honor or cherish their chosen partner and lie to them on a daily basis. If you truly do love someone you don't send them out the door looking bad when all you had to do was say something like, I think the blue one looks better on you, or no, that hat doesn’t flatter you. By the same token, if you don't want the truth, DON'T ASK FOR IT. If you do ask, then don't get mad at the answer. Stop and think for a minute how ridiculous that exercise truly is. In asking what you don't want a truthful answer to, you are setting your partner up to start a disagreement...why would you do that except to create drama. 
Why do you feel that is a good idea. If you want to fight, why not just ask for your significant other to tell you a whopper of a lie about anything and fight about that? Or to be more honest about it say, “I want to fight with you because our life is peaceful and wonderful and I would rather it be mean and awful.” and start your fight that way? Sounds pretty stupid right? Well, it is no more stupid than the constant lying.

Next time you are about to ask a question, decide whether your question is worthy of the truth and important enough to ask or are you just starting some drama. Do you really want the truth? When it's your turn to answer, you might ask whether the person asking wants the truth or are they just making noise; if you aren't sure, ask them. Try and start a new tradition of truth and respect in your relationship, you may be surprised how easy it is and how much better you feel.

I hope this has given you some insight into something that may make your life more love filled and less dramatic. “May the entire Universe be filled with Peace and Joy, Love and Light. May the light of Truth overcome all darkness! Victory to that Light! Jai!”

Bright Blessings Chessie

Sunday, January 15, 2012

WHAT AM I?





WHAT AM I?

“Because I am the energy of creation; its’ vessel and its conduit; I am
 connected to an unlimited abundance. Who and what I require
 appears at exactly the correct time.” {C. S. Roberts} Evolution of
 Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance


You are NOT what you see in the mirror. You are a soul first and a
 biological vehicle secondly. You, me, all of us are souls that animate
 the bodies in which we travel. Without the animating force of the
 soul we would be nothing. We would not be able to feel, create,
 share, love, manifest, or anything else. As “pieces of The Divine
 Energy” we are powerful and loving. So what is the catch you may
 well ask. The catch is that we have to remember what we truly are.
 As we grow up and learn what we and others feel we need to know
 to get along in this mundane life, we forget our true origins. Don't
 panic here, it is natural and we all do it BUT, we do not have to stay
 ignorant of where we came from and what we truly are.

“What do I need to do to remember?” I was asked by a friend of mine
 recently. Ready? What you need to do is... pay attention to what is
 no longer serving you, what is not making sense to you anymore and
 remember. Sounds tricky right? Not really. As you begin to question
 things that you once took as truth, you know the things I am
 referring to, those things that make you wonder “why it might be
 so”; things that make you wonder “how someone may have thought
 'that' up”! You start looking for better answers to those questions
 and, as you look, you realize that most of the questions just aren't
 important any more (most never were) You may find that a lot of the
 answers will come from an acceptance on a Faith Base rather than
 on a “statics, charts and graphs base.” You learn to “feel” the
 rightness of a thing, situation or experience and by that feeling,
 know that it is correct for you.

As this growth process continues, you realize that what is right for
 you may or may NOT be right for someone else and that it is OK.
 We all learn differently and that's OK. We all have different life
 experiences and understandings and that is OK. What is correct for
 you may resonate with another, and it may not and that too is OK.

The truth that makes you, you is not always the truth that makes
 someone else themselves and that is OK as well. When you reach the
 level that allows you to be you and others to be who and what they
 are, with no judgment, criticism or manipulation on your part, then
 you have remembered fully what and who you truly are. 
You are ready for whatever YOUR next step may be.

Bright Blessings and happy remembering, Chessie
© Chessie Roberts 2012, all rights reserved 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

THE 4 RELIENCES



    THE 4 RELIENCES

    A Traditional Buddhist Teaching

    1. First, Rely on the teachings, not the personality of the teacher.

    Rely on the truth of the teachings, which supports and upholds the truth of the lessons. The teacher may be to your liking but if the lessons hold no merit, then your trust and time are wasted.

    2. Rely on the spirit and meanings of the teachings, not on the words.

    Look deeply into the meaning of the words being presented to you. If you listen and understand shallowly, your growth will be less than if you truly understand the underlying meanings of the teachings. Look as deeply as you can for the true message, each time you do this, your understanding will deepen. Be careful of misunderstanding what the teacher is trying to say for that can lead you in all sorts of wrong directions, ask questions until you are satisfied that your understanding is what it needs to be. “When the finger points to the moon, The(childish) will look at the finger itself. And fools attached to mere language, may think they’ve understood, but they will find it difficult.” {Mipham Rinpoche}

    3. Rely on real wisdom, not a superficial interpenetration.

    Do not rely on the temporariness of the lesson, look for the one that touches all levels of your life and teaches what you require. Do not be swayed by flashy words and high-sounding concepts, listen, look for what is real and lasting. Find the specifics of the lesson and see how they apply to where you are on your path at the moment and also where you can go with this information.

    4. Rely on the essence of your pure wisdom mind, not on judgmental perceptions.

    Judgment will stop your understanding, growth and learning. Your preconceived notions will keep you from hearing and absorbing new information. As you allow new information without judgment, you will find truth in wonderful and unexpected places.

     As you grow in your path, new information will come to you, and reevaluation will be required. Remember that understanding at a lower level may not continue to serve you at higher levels. Never decide that you know everything about anything because this will stop your growth. Always look for the next question, the next answer to keep you moving farther, vibrating higher, and reaching further. Bright Blessings

     

    (the explanations are my interpretations of the relances, Chessie Roberts)

     

    Ju Mipham Rinpoche (1846-1912) —Author of the original Reliances was a great Nyingma master Tibetan scholar and writer of the last century, student of Jamgön Kongtrul, Jamyang Khyentsé Wangpo and Patrul Rinpoche. Blessed by Manjushri, he became one of the greatest scholars of his time. His collected works fill more than thirty volumes. His chief disciple was Shechen Gyaltsab Pema Namgyal.

     





Sunday, August 14, 2011

STANDING IN YOUR OWN POWER




             STANDING IN YOUR OWN POWER

How does one stand in their own power? First thing you need to do is to determine who is holding your power right now. We are taught to give it away at an early age. We learn quickly to live our lives by committee and not make any decisions without the approval of those around us. Secondly you need to decide if you want to stay in that situation or do you want to take back what is yours; whether you gave it willingly, grudgingly or unknowingly it is still your power.


We have to give over our power to those who raise us in order to survive but when we reach a certain maturity level, we should learn to take it back. Instead, we trust others with our opinions and feelings. Every time we look to them for approval for any decision we may make, we give them some of our power. The medical profession has done a stellar job of convincing us that we should listen only to them when it comes to our physicality. When we allow someone to anger us, hurt us or make us sad, we give away some more of our power. The list of others we look to for approval is rather large when you count it up; friends, relatives, agencies, and other well-meaning people who seem to know more about what we require than we do. Pretty soon, we have no power of our own and we wonder why we feel so helpless.

 

The truth of the matter is that we are only as helpless as we think we are. Others control us only as much as we allow them to. Think about exactly where your power is leaking, who/what do you go to for validation and acceptance? How angry do you get in any particular circumstance or around certain people? Who do you allow to make you sad?

 

Dr Wayne Dyer says,” Release the need to be upset with others. Remember that any time you are filled with resentment you are turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.” When you are strong in your own power, no one and nothing can deter you from your path. So, the next time you feel an emotion about something, or someone ask yourself if you really want to give that thing or person the ability to manipulate you. If you do, then go ahead but don't whine about it later. If you do not, good for you , you have taken the first step in taking back and standing in your own power.

Bright Blessings, C. S. Roberts

 

© Chessie Roberts 2011, all rights reserved

 


Sunday, July 31, 2011

WHERE IS GOD?




WHERE IS GOD?

“God” or the idea of it, as a force, is an extremely interesting concept to a large number of people. They talk about it (the subject/idea) they look for it/Him/ Her, they fight over it, they hold grudges and do any number of asinine things to prove their side is right and any other is wrong, and are easily offended by the fact that others do not hold the same ideas on the subject as they do.

The truth of the matter is that the thing, the concept, the energy that we call God, belongs to….EVERYONE!  the Hindus call Him Rama, the Christians call Him God, the Muslims call Him Allah, the Zoroastrians call Him Zarathustra…there many names for this but truth is He (using the generic “he” here) is one. What color do you think He is? What does that matter? He just Is. All countries, all religions, all races, all languages are His.  He exists in all of them.

Take a religion, any one you wish. What is it really? It is a creation of man to help him understand something he feels is complex. God did not create religions; God did not make up the rules imposed by man. If he had we would call him a politician instead of God, it is we who have drawn the lines and made the rules and it is we who fight over them.

Story: there were four men from different countries who were traveling together on a quest for enlightenment. One morning they woke up and decided what they wanted to eat for breakfast. The Croatian wanted narance, the Norwegian wanted appelsiner, the Welshman argued for orennau while the Spaniard demanded they should have naranjas.

Their argument was growing ugly when a wise man stopped to listen. After a moment the wise man raised his hand and said in a commanding voice, “SILENCE!!” the four companions stopped their fighting to hear what the wise man had to say. “Give me your money and I will bring all of you what you desire.” The travelers decided to do this and gave the wise man their coins and, as he walked away, the men turned their backs on each other to wait in angry silence for the old one to return.  Soon they saw him coming back with a sack which he handed them. They opened it anxiously and each triumphantly pulled out their chosen fruit. Each man was holding an orange. Each had been fighting over a difference in language. Pretty silly don’t you think?

That is just what we do over religion. Rather than having a blind faith in a certain religion, we need to embrace the truth that God is in ALL religions, ALL things and ALL people and use this information to foster love , affection and understanding for each other; to embrace our likenesses rather than our differences. See, every day, that God is EVERYWHERE and in ALL OF US with NO restrictions NO conditions and NO exceptions. Bright Blessings

 

© C. S. Roberts 2011, all rights reserved

 


Sunday, September 5, 2010

THE BEE AND WE





                          THE BEE AND WE

Science tells us that, aerodynamically speaking the design of a bumble bee is completely wrong. It has too much body weight vs too little wingspan therefore, it is incapable of flight; and yet, it flies. Why do think that is?

I hypothesize that it can fly for the simple reasons that 1) no one has told it that it can’t and

2) it was created to do just what it does and that includes flight. So to take this a step further, since we are born, created if you will, to accomplish certain things in our life, why do we continually listen to those who tell us we can’t do them.

If, like our friend the bumble bee, we just concentrate on what we know we can do rather than taking bad advice from those who have decided that, because of some preconceived notion they have about us, we can’t accomplish whatever we wish, we can do anything we desire.

The point here is that we were created to accomplish certain things in our lifetime and have been given everything we need to do that. Because we are humans and not bees, we can and do listen to bad advice from those we feel we can trust rather than listening to ourselves. This immature need to create ourselves by committee causes us to forget what our assets are and how to use them. The good news here is all we have to do is to wake up to our truth and remember our potential.

So no matter what we look like to someone else; no matter what others think of us and our potential or talents; we are here for a reason and by embracing our true nature and reconnecting with it, we are unstoppable, we are exponential, we are extraordinary and we can fly.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2010 all rights reserved


Sunday, August 29, 2010

ON WAKING UP







                             ON WAKING UP


When we are born the Creator gives us everything we need to know to achieve our life’s mission but, because we are required to live on this plane this information becomes forgotten. It is overwritten by other programming, like an overwrite command on a computer.

The village who raises us attempts to shape us in their image so that we can learn from their life experiences. This is all well and good for a while and it is done for our benefit, or so the village believes, but when it is time for changes to begin in your life, it is unsettling for those who have been steering you for so long. They may try to challenge your attempt to stretch and find your own way but that is OK, stretch anyway. Look for your forgotten birthright, remember, become consciously aware, and wake up.

“When you begin to remember who and what you are after being made into something/someone else by the needs and desires of others; you begin your journey into conscious awareness…you begin to wake up.” (Chessie Roberts Evolution of Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance)

To wake up is to begin to question all of the things that you once held as true. It is to realize that you have made choices, whether you knew it at the time or not. It is to dig into those choices and to decide which ones you should hang on to, and which are no longer serving you. It is the ability to make the now informed decision to let go of all of your old thought processes, without shame or anger, and to grow forward with your life. It is to reconnect with your higher self, to raise your vibrations toward the love and light that put you on this plane in the first place. It is to embrace unconditional love of yourself, mankind and the planet. It is to evolve, to reach for the next level, to fulfill your purpose and to share your journey with the seekers around you. It is to bloom where you grow and to spread happiness, joy and love to all who cross your path.

I bid you good morning and Bright Blessings in your evolution. Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved


Sunday, August 8, 2010

YOUR THROAT CHAKRA






                                      CHAKRA FIVE


Chakra five is located at your throat and corresponds with your pharyngeal plexus This is the place of your self-expression.

The element here is ether but that is a subject under much dispute so for this particular train of thought I am going to use the element of sound.
The color that vibrates with this area is a bright sky blue and the root of the Sanskrit word for the throat area means ‘to purify’.

The job in the fifth chakra is communication, both verbal and nonverbal. This is where you develop the ability to express your creativity and skills. These include effective listening; the ability to accurately hear what another is trying to tell you while realizing that they are speaking from a different life experience than you. (That means their experience of an event shared with you will seem like a different event because of the difference in your backgrounds.)

Communication is the connecting principle that makes life possible and, in actuality, it is the act of extending your consciousness to create an understanding of your ideas in another. You use sound, vibration and rhythm to form words or symbols that are called the alphabet to write words, or maybe you use hand signs or the Braille alphabet to convey information and ideas to others. Just as your body uses DNA and nerve impulses, and your brains use chemicals and hormones to keep your body working properly, the world uses broadcast waves and frequencies to keep us in constant communication with each other. Communication is important on every level.
When you are out of balance in this area you may find that you talk too much or not enough. You may come across as arrogant or self-righteous. You will certainly not listen well or care about others’ views and opinions.

Words are our most powerful tool and with great power comes great responsibility. Please remember this and think before you speak, post or type because incorrect information can be very damaging and hurtful.

When you are in balance, people consider you thoughtful in your communications, you can express your needs and desires without being demanding or whiney, you are able to express your truth without hurting others and you are able to speak without shame or fear.

Knowing that you are in balance comes with your ability to speak your truth while truly hearing another and you are able to do this without judgment or shame.
The goal of the fifth chakra is to enable you to communicate ideas and abstract concepts and be understood, to be able to give information so that you can manifest creations on a physical plane that give order to your universe.

RECAP OF CHAKRA FIVE
1) Located at your throat
2) Is your self-expression
3) Your ability to communicate your hearts truth
4) Your ability to communicate your core values
5) Is the bridge that connects your head (intellect) with your body (senses)

Physicality; your bronchial and vocal apparatus, lungs, ears, hands, arms, neck, bones and teeth.

Issues; expression, communication of your own creativity, needs and desires, your ability to actively listen and understand both verbal and non-verbal communications.

Blocked By; lies you tell yourself

Unblocked By; seeing that you are OK as you are but if there parts of you that you feel are not worthy of you, change them in a positive and loving way and then…genuinely love yourself.

Bright Blessings, Chessie
© Chessie Roberts, 2010, all rights reserved