QUESTIONS FROM OUR INNER CRITIC

           QUESTIONS FROM OUR INNER CRITIC

I was recently asked these thought-provoking questions by a friend of mine, “How do you decide where to draw your line in the sand of what you will and won’t do, where you will and won’t go? How do you stick to those boundaries?

After a bit of thought I realized that I go by my guidance and core values. Now to some of you these words are old friends and for some they are new concepts so I will explain.

Your core values are those values that you hold in the very center of you, in that special place where the hard shining truth of who and what you truly are; that place where no one goes but you. Those values are the ones that you will always uphold, the ones you will never forsake or allow others to push you across. They are different for each of us and if you have not decided what yours are I strongly suggest that you do so. Like the song says,” You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything…”

Guidance is the still small voice that we often totally disregard. Over the years of listening to others in our lives that we feel know more than we do, that inner voice of guidance has been drowned out because it is so quiet and the world is so loud. Meditation is one of the ways we learn how to listen again. Guidance will never lead us in the wrong direction once we learn to hear and understand.

My friends’ next question was, “What about in times of great change?”

My answer was the same. This is not an easy answer, and it came after a lifetime of doubting myself and living my life by committee. You see, we are taught to listen to the village that raises us and to stop listening to our ‘self’ (I am talking about our instincts) as well as our ‘Self’ (here I refer to our higher spiritual voices, the ones who truly know the answers) and listen to the people by whom we are surrounded. The ones who want us to think and feel the way that they do so that they are comfortable in their status quo. When we begin to follow our true path(s), we have the tendency to upset those around us who don’t want to be around growth.
The next thing she told me was that she tended to doubt herself too much and think too much. This was causing her to feel that she is learning patience.

My response to this is, the reason we do this to ourselves is, again, that committee that always seems to know more about how we should be feeling and what we should be doing than we, who are living our life know about it. They mean well but their constant input creates doubt and the tendency to over think everything.

The other side of this coin is that the constant input triggers our ‘shut down’ mode and we don’t listen to anything from anywhere and we stumble around in ignorance, sometimes getting it right but, most of the time making the same mistakes over and over again. In order to break this cycle, we need to master the virtues of patience, the ability to let go, the ability to listen and believe in ourselves and our inner and divine guidance.

She then told me that her problem is her need to learn to believe; to build her own faith. She told me that she feels that it’s happening slowly.

I know all of you have heard the adage that “Seeing is believing.” And sometimes this is the case BUT, when you get into those higher levels of spirit and vibration (which is where this type of questioning occurs) you find that to believe is to see. Trust me when I tell you that the journey is rough because we are stubborn and don’t (at first) want to let go of those things we think we know, but as we come to truly understand and learn how to listen to our innate core values and guidance you will find that it is so worth the effort.

Happy growth and Bright Blessings,

Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2011, all rights reserved

Projecting Abundance and Gratitude Above the Fear Line

              Projecting Abundance and Gratitude

                        Above the Fear Line

“Because the Universe reflects back to you at the level which you are able to accept, appreciate what you have and project abundance in your emotions, self-talk, your thoughts, and visualization. Remember that emotion is energy in motion and that is what drives all manifestation.” C. S. Roberts

I have had a series of Aha moments over the past few months. Moments that have brought the truth of something I said a while ago (the above quote) and made this concept crystal clear.

Emotions fall into two categories, love or fear. Any emotion that is at or below the ‘fear line’ will drag you down into the depths of stagnation and inactivity. Any emotion above that line will push you up toward happiness, joy and finally into manifestation.

I had, on one level, believed and understood what I was saying but, on a deeper level was missing an important point. As I have stated on many occasions I am, as we all are, works in progress so yay for finally getting it. The whole point is that down in that part of you where only you go, where the tough questions are asked and answered is where the acceptance of this statement needs to truly and gratefully happen. This is where you need to determine that you are no longer ruled by anything at or below the ‘fear line’. Only then will your ‘emotional energy engine’ crank into life and drive the upward motion that will create manifestation.

If you can honestly accept everything you have as a good thing and gratefully rejoice in your abundance with your entire being, you will touch this place within and begin to manifest without. EXAMPLE: your furnace breaks on the coldest day of the year and it is a holiday and guests are coming; how do you react? Let’s face it that would be very upsetting on the surface of things but, since you know about emotions and manifestation, you are truly grateful for the fact that your oven works, that you have space heaters and blankets and that you know that your guests will understand and be just fine with it. You celebrate in joy, love and gratitude. You invite others to celebrate with the same attitude and, by your every thought, emotion and deed you turn the unfortunate happening into an exercise of gratitude for abundance and share that outlook with those around you, thus lifting you and everyone else to a higher vibration. In return you manifest the money you need to fix the furnace, your holiday was exceptional, you taught a valuable lesson without realizing it and your life stays above the ‘fear line’.

I invite you to examine your life as you start this new beginning in 2011 to find your abundance, joy and gratitude. Once you do that share that attitude with as many people as you can and watch your manifestations soar.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

© Chessie Roberts 2011, all rights reserved

DENIAL AND OTHER OPIATES

                DENIAL AND OTHER OPIATES

“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid.” (Richard Bach)

Any addictive behavior that keeps us from fully living to our highest potential is a denial or an opiate. Some examples are, over shopping, hoarding, self-pity, blaming others for unfortunate circumstances, drugs, alcohol, minimizing, religion, television, justification, denial of any cycle of behavior that creates pain and/or suffering. All of us use these, and other coping mechanisms from time to time and that is alright. Getting stuck there is asking to create problems for ourselves as well as for those around us.

One of the reasons we use to make relying on denial and the numbing of our feelings ok, is that we are trying to avoid pain, or our anticipation of it. We lie to ourselves to make it seem like everything is alright. Denial and numbing are normal and natural responses for dealing with painful or overwhelming problems.

By using thoughts, actions and manipulation to defend against the pain of realizing the presence of things in our lives that we would rather not face, is just to prolong the inevitable. By sinking into addictive, manipulative or abusive behavior we just create more of what we don’t want, pain, misery and unhappiness.

Once we begin to lie to ourselves, we think that we feel a lot more comfortable because we begin to believe that we are in control again. In reality we are not. The same is true of addictive or manipulative behavior. Addiction creates the dependency on the act of addiction we choose. We keep thinking (wrongly) that if we try the behavior one more time, things will get better. Of course they don’t, so we continue our vicious cycle.

The trap with the lying is that, since nothing terrible has happened as a result of lying to ourselves, we kid ourselves into thinking that our lie is now the truth. From here we progress to lying to others and this is where the trouble starts.

The actual truth becomes further and further removed from our conscious awareness of what is worthy of us, creating problems within our mind/spirit connection. As this connection deteriorates our physicality gets in on the act. When this occurs, eventually the lies begin to show up as physical problems, aches, pains, illness and the like.

We sometimes see the advantages of denial as; having others feel sorry for us and so they try to ‘help fix’ us so we don’t have to do it, not having to take responsibility for our actions or behavior, not having to face what seems to be a problem with no solution, or not having to deal with a personal short coming.

Some of the disadvantages of using denial are; that it eventually blocks our recognition of our initial problem or flaw so we don’t see what we need to work on to make our life right. Denial and addictive behavior create the illusion that the problem is being solved or that there are more important issues to deal with so that the main issue does not need to be solved, or that it doesn’t exist at all. Denial and obsessive behavior are detrimental to all three levels of our life: body, mind, and spirit.

These create the downward spiral that causes dis-ease, as well as an imbalance that will eventually become severe enough to make us ill.

OK, so how do you fix this? Well, dare to be honest with yourself and ask the tough questions. What problems do you truly have in your life, your job, and your relationships? Just where and what do you feel are your weaknesses, flaws or limitations? Are they really things that you can change or control? How long have you been putting these things on the back burner? Which aspects of your self do feel is contributing to these problems? Write them down and then prioritize them by their importance to you.

I caution you here to be loving and gentle with yourself as you ask and answer these questions. It has been your skewed perspective and fear that got you here in the first place so don’t hurt yourself further by being harsh. There is a difference between being truthful and being critical.

Look for the good that is in you as you weed out what you want to change. Just understanding that there is work for you to do may be enough to start with. Shining the light of truth into those dark corners may seem scary at first but I tell you that is the most freeing and healing thing you can do for yourself. By keeping yourself in the dark, you are actually putting yourself at risk of your problems getting to the point that secondary ones develop as a result of not addressing your primary issues. It is like taking a pill to reduce a fever without determining what caused the fever in the first place.

Change is possible. It can be done. Your problems can be solved or effectively managed if you choose to take responsibility for your part in creating them and act with conscious awareness to do something about them. The choice to stay unhappy and ill or to become the healthy whole person you were meant to be is yours. Remember that “you cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it” (Einstein)
Here's to reaching your goal of wholeness.

Bright Blessings, Chessie
© Chessie Roberts, 2011 all rights reserved

The Season of Love

                        The Season of Love

The holiday time of the year is often referred to as the Season of Love, but should we not live in that season all of the time? This also begs the question, “What is love?” that is what we will discuss here.

The love to which I am referring is of the unconditional variety, the kind that gives without stipulations or judgments. It creates the binding force of love; a love driven by free, joyous acceptance of yourself and all around you. This love does NOT come from a place of need, want, or manipulation. This love, when you move in harmony with it, gives you the ability to let others grow at their own rate, to reach out to another without losing your center. You begin to feel that sense of wholeness and balance that you are looking for. You lose the desire to judge others by YOUR standards, and you are able to see all things as your “next best thing”. This type of love allows you to consider others as well as to be gentle with our expectations of ourselves. We find that we can empathize with the challenges and the joys of others. This love is our link between our intellectual self and our spiritual self.

Unconditional love is both a way of life as well as a state of being and is a conscious aware decision. When we choose to engage our will (a 3rd chakra issue) to direct the love of our 4th chakra to all of those around us, we find a great sense of inner peace and wellbeing suffuses us and radiates out to all with whom we come into contact.

We accomplish this true, pure, unconditional love when our ability to take responsibility for those actions that are truly ours becomes firmly established within us. When we can stop having the need to live our lives by committee and can follow our hearts truth without guilt or fear. It is when we can express love of ourselves and humanity without manipulation or require others to change in order to become worthy of it. It is when you do not feel the need to be in control of others, or it is no longer important that truth is subjugated to YOUR idea of what YOU feel it should be. Only when we are able to give and receive this unconditional love that is vital to our growth and evolvement, our actions become based on the premise that all people are deserving of love. We are at a level where we can forgive others as well as ourselves easily thus releasing emotional pain as just a part of day-to-day life and not hold it as something to be nurtured. Holding hurts and grievances benefits no one, least of all ourselves. Love heals, holding hurt destroys.

Let’s face it, you can’t really know anyone but yourself, so by taking everything and everyone (especially ourselves) less seriously, you can be yourself without letting another take your power. You are also able to see the difference in controlling yourself and NOT controlling others.

Balance means that you can temper your lower chakras pull with love and begin seeing change in wonderful ways. You know you are in balance when you no longer feel those pulls from your lower chakras and realize that you do, indeed, create your own reality and you can influence others.

The goal of unconditional love is to first find an unconditional love for yourself that will spill over to others, then be able to exercise tolerance and balance within your body, mind, spirit. And to realize the Devine Paradox that something that seems small is, in reality very large and the thing that seems very large is actually very small, and to then embrace the ability to allow things to just be what they are.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

©Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

              

                      ON GROWING SLEEP

Getting to sleep has become a large problem in our society. We are too busy fighting with the weeds of our day to slow down and plant the proper seeds for relaxation in our daily garden of “doing things” and then wonder why sleep eludes us. Sleep is what our body uses as our time for healing and restoration.

We should be sleeping for about 1/3rd of our lives. Deep, good quality sleep allows our natural pharmacopeia to release the chemicals inherent in us that keep us operating at peak efficiency. Without the proper amount and types of sleep, we become fuzzy brained, scattered, tired and ill. Now some of you would argue that there are pills to help with getting to sleep, but sleep should be blissful, silent and deep enough for a dream state to be invoked. In our search for this type of sleep we often sabotage our efforts without realizing it.

The most frequent reasons the dream state is not reached are 1) tranquilizers, 2) sleeping pills, and 3) alcohol.

Consider the fact that our bodies are already equipped with all the appropriate chemicals and in the proper dosages for each person to function as they should in this (and all areas of life), why mess with that? Let us look at some lifestyle changes that we can cultivate in order to access our natural ability to sleep.

Seed one) Have a light supper 2 to 3 hours before you go to bed. Have a set bedtime and stick to it. Give yourself at LEAST 30 min. quiet time before bed. Stop doing whatever you were doing and turn off everything noisy. Lower the lights, if you wear glasses, take them off and let go of your day and sink into the quiet. Let the thoughts that bedevil you stay just long enough for you to say "listening" 3 times (a Buddhist thingy) after you speak, let go of the thought. If it is a "to do thing", write it down on paper so your mind can let it go.

Next, start with either your head or feet (different for different folks-try both to see where you land) and tense up all the muscles in whatever area your working with, let them relax and move to the next group. For instance, feet; tense, relax move. Calves: tense, relax, move. Thighs and so on working your way up your body (or down as your case may be), you get the picture. When you get to your head, do your face, jaws, scalp, anything you can to stretch the muscles and relax them. Feel the difference in your tension level, it will be lower and relaxation will be in your reach. You can do this as many times as you wish.

Seed two) This one I learned from a friend of mine, Geo Clark and he calls it pyramid breathing; focus all attention on your breathing, inhale, hold 1, exhale. Inhale, hold 2, and exhale. And so on, do this all the way to 10 then come back down to 1. Somewhere in there you will fall asleep. Let me know how you manage. Another breathing technique is to inhale deeply through the nose and then exhale, through the nose in little puffs like blowing out a candle. Do this about 20 reps as a relaxation aid.

Seed three) Again quiet the room and lower the lights. If you have quiet relaxing music or guided meditation on CD you may wish to use them to help you become quiet. An aroma therapy candle (burned in a safe dish) or an essential oil or herbal relaxation aromas such as saffron or lavender can aid in easing you into a more relaxed state. Warm some milk with a touch of saffron or nutmeg, poppy seed or, if you prefer 1 Tablespoon gotacola in 1 cup water for tea.

Seed four) understand that different people require different amounts of sleep so find out what is best for you and make it part of your healthy, daily lifestyle. Mix and match the different ideas and techniques to find out your best formula and know that sometimes it will change. Don’t stress over it, just let it happen as you practice the suggestions I have laid out here (and there are others out there just a little research will bring them to light) and you will find that your sleep garden will grow better results in your waking life and your efforts will bloom brightly.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

©Chessie Roberts 2010 all rights reserved

                 

GETTING RID OF “STUFF” THAT WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE

                 GETTING RID OF “STUFF”

             THAT WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE
                  ©Chessie Roberts 2010, all rights reserved

“Childhood stuff needed to happen because it did. So are you going to use it as an excuse to fail or rewrite your memes (old ideas in your head that you don’t need any more) to elevate yourself to be a better you?” Dr. Wayne Dyer

I ask myself this question every time I feel unsure of which way I need to move because an old tape keeps playing in my head. Just because someone taught us something when we were little does not mean that it still ‘fits’ now or that it was true in the first place. Just as we grow into and out of our clothing we grow into and out of ideas, thought processes and feelings. Here is the GREAT news for us…it is OK for that to happen. Actually, it is desirable for thoughts to grow and change as we grow and change.

Being stuck in our past is never a good thing. Forward movement must take place for us to evolve. If we don’t evolve, we stagnate and that causes pain, illness and frustration.

For those of you who are realizing that this is something you need to work on I strongly recommend the book “Virus of the Mind, the New Science of the Meme” by Richard Brodie. It will define this new thought process in a way that will make the transition clearer and therefore easier to navigate.

Bright Blessings and smooth sailing, Chessie

HOW DO YOU SEE YOUR SITUATION?

            HOW DO YOU SEE YOUR SITUATION?

In any given situation you have choices. You can choose to be the victim of the situation, or you can choose to rise above it and make it a learning and growing experience for yourself. Self-pity stops you cold, so decide that the situation is your next best thing. Look for the positive aspects of it and act on them.

I challenge you to truly and objectively look at your situation. Where and what are the positive aspects of it? What of the negative aspects can you turn into positive ones? How can you now benefit from this new viewpoint? If you look at a seemingly “bad” situation as your “next best thing” you will find the “good” in it for you.

Just as slow motion and stop action still photography gives you an opportunity to reevaluate what you thought you saw, so does slowing down and honestly analyze your situation. This reexamining will reveal secrets and clues within the situation that you would otherwise miss. This allows you the opportunity to see the true good in your situation, to change your perception of it and turn it toward your benefit; to make it your next best thing.

So when you feel that your situation is beyond redemption, slow down, reexamine and search out those hidden positives and turn a negative into your next best thing and grow.

Bright Blessings, Chessie

© 2010 Chessie Roberts, all rights reserved